The RainbowWriters Season Seven Episode 3 : Shadows Of Twilight
by rainbowwriters
Summary: Officially the third episode in our season seven series as The Gift of Sorrow was a 'double episode' season starter ! It's pretty much essential for you to read that first. As explained in that summary, this is from way back in the day, posted here due to popular request :)


COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Giles, Dawn, Spike and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Buffy The Vampire Slayer, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of Joss Wheldon, Fox and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the authors. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Please contact the authors for permission to reproduce this story on any other fanfiction site.

LOVE/ GRAPHIC SEX DISCLAIMER: This story depicts a love relationship between two consenting adult women. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something other than this story. (Please note this may not apply until much further parts but it will be an integral part of the storyline.)

TIMEFRAME: Season Seven done Rainbow Writers Style… we are taking all that has aired up until Grave as gospel and working with what the bad evil Josh has given us… the difference WE LOVE WILLOW AND TARA… so we're going to fic all the horribleness… the theme is still "Back to the Beginning" as hinted at… but with a total focus on fixing what was done to our gorgeous lovely couple.

PAIRING: Willow and Tara… obviously!

BIG GIANT HUGE ANGST/UNHAPPINESS DISCLAIMER: So if you've seen season six… you know… ME sucks… they took us all down a road we never wanted to go… but now we have to get back… so the ride will be bumpy… but we promise this time the light… its daylight and NOT a train!

WORK OF THE RAINBOW WRITERS WARNING! … If you know our stuff you know we can OWN pain and suffering when we want too… stock up: tissues, chocolate, have loved ones near… we're going to get to a happy place but we're not going to gloss over the damage ME has done

YELLOW CRAYON XANDER WARNING: In the vein of trying to be nice… we've decided its time for Xander to clean up some of his act and take on some responsibility… no he's not turning into super Xander, but maybe a more respectable guy.

**Shadows of Twilight **

By: The Rainbow Writers

It was one of those perfect days, when the sunlight filtered down from its lofty heights as the centre of our universe and kisses everything on the earth's surface with warm refreshing rays.

Willow knew that she could explain what sunshine was, how hot it was, how far it had to travel. She could explain about solar flares, coronas and radioactive sub particles. One thing she knew not even she could explain was how good a nice sunny day could make you feel. Well that and the mystery of how sunlight could add even more gorgeous highlights to Tara's hair then were there normally and how exactly those highlights could mesmerise her in her place for hours.

Nothing could ever be as perfect Willow realised as she plucked a small pink wildflower from amongst the grass and twirled it between her fingers. Stretching out her legs, the warmth of the sunlight spread over her skin as she sunned herself on the yellow and white chequered blanket.

She could hear Dawn giggling as she ran by somewhere behind, the Slayer's sure footfalls chasing her as the Summers' girls enjoyed a game among the tall redwoods. Though her attention was on Tara's face as the Wicca turned her soft features into the warm breeze, Willow knew that the blonde was watched as Giles lined up for another bat as he attempted to teach Xander the finer points of bowling in Cricket. The soft swish as Anya pushed higher and higher on the rope swing nearby was probably the only sound that consistently broke the serenity of their picnic.

"La, la, la, la my lover's hand in mine, la, la." Tara sung sporadic lyrics from a fairly unrecognisable and yet beautifully melodic song as she gave a little twirl in the sunshine. Her head tilted backwards slightly exposing her throat and long neck to the sun's rays as she twirled, her hair flowing out around her head in a golden arc.

Willow watched on grinning as her lover's voice swayed through the air caressing her ears.

Gracefully Tara came to a stop and stood beaming at Willow, her long flowing dress taken a second or two to settle neatly down her legs.

"Happy sweetie?" She asked taking a ballet step towards the blanket.

"Ecstatic." Willow grinned up at the tall blonde. "Do you want some lemonade after all that lovely dancing?"

"Mmmmm." Tara made the small sound of contemplation, letting her tongue moisten sun kissed lips just slightly. "Yes please, its rather thirsty work." She beamed another brilliant smile at her lover.

"You do it beautifully." Willow giggled as she tucked the flower up behind her ear and reached into the large wicker basket to pull out a champagne flute and a large cold jug of lemonade. "It's so beautiful here that it's hard to ever think of anything bad happening isn't it?" She began pouring the glass glancing up to smile at her lover.

"Bad?" Tara's laughter filtered through the warm air like the sunlight itself. "Oh Willow, you're so silly at times."

As Willow got caught up in blue sparkling eyes she felt the lemonade spill over the edge and trickle down onto her hand. She cursed wordlessly at her mistake as her fingers slipped and the glass fell spilling over the blanket. Her eyes went instantly down to where the lemonade spill spread in as it soaked into the blanket, the once yellow liquid bleeding into a deep red as it melted into the fabric.

"Tara..." Willow put her hand down into the puddle pulling up her fingers to see thick crimson clinging to her fingertips. "Tara?" She reached up and wiped her hand across her shirt trying to get the sticky substance off her skin.

"Willow what have you done!" The cry came from somewhere behind the blonde as Xander and Giles threw themselves to the ground. The cricket ball they were playing with arching high into the air transforming as it spun into something more like a grenade. It plummeted earthward heading for the patch of grass beside Dawn and Buffy.

The Slayer threw herself forward in an attempt to cover and shield her little sister just as with a loud echoing boom the explosive hit the ground sending grass and mud flying up into the air.

"God No!" The scream came from Anya as the backlash from the explosion caught the ropes of her swing snapping them like string and sending the blonde crashing to the floor.

Willow looked on as in a chain reaction everything around her started to go horribly wrong.

"Will, please stop this!" Xander called to his friend as he pushed himself up onto his knees, blood stained his face from three jagged cuts running across it, the front of his shirt was ripped and stained with sweat and dirt.

"I... I..." Willow pushed up to stand from her spot trying to figure what she could do.

"Why Willow? Why are you hurting us, we're not the enemy?" Anya sobbed as she crawled her way painfully across the ruined grass over to the fallen Watcher who as yet made no signs of life.

"I'm not doing anything." Willow felt her eyes go hot with tears. "I just... I just..." She looked down at her blood stained hand.

"No, Dawnie, no." Buffy's voice could just be heard from the pit that now sat in the middle of the burnt field, her breaths turning into hard fast sobs. "I can't loose you Dawnie, no…"

"Tara?" Willow looked suddenly to the blonde who hadn't moved since all of this horror had begun.

Everything suddenly went from noisy and angry violence, to still calm serenity as the taller blonde slowly turned towards Willow but the instant that Tara truly faced her lover the time caught up again. There came a sharp cracking noise through the air and down on the picnic blanket one of the crystal champagne flutes shattered.

Willow felt her lip quivering as she locked eyes with Tara and saw her lover's face fall.

A look of pure surprise and confusions filled Tara's sunlit features, turning to one of unmasked pain as the Wiccan's knees buckled just slightly.

"Your shirt..." Tara whispered as she fell towards the ground.

Dawn had just emerged from the bathroom, still chomping on her toothbrush as she meandered back to her room for skin lotion humming along to the fairly loud music coming from Buffy and Tara's exercise session in the living room. She had just reached up to push her door open when a blood-curdling scream rocked through the house.

Dawn felt her bare feet dig into the carpet as she turned and raced towards the sound of the screaming.

The teenager's hurry was echoed a fraction of a second later by the unmistakable noise of the Slayer's footsteps literally jumping up the stairs.

"It's Willow." Dawn stopped at the door to their room as she saw first Buffy and then a few steps behind a very out of breath Tara emerge into the hallway.

"I know." Buffy was about to run in then she stopped and turned. "Oh God Tara sorry I didn't think." The Slayer moved to help the Wicca but Tara shook her head and motioned for Buffy to leave her and go straight to Willow.

"Open the door!" Dawn urged the motionless Slayer as she ran back to help Tara.

Buffy nodded mutely and threw the door open more or less sending it cracking off its hinges.

"Willow?" Buffy called the redhead's name her voice full of confusion when she saw the bed lay empty. It was more or less stripped of its soft lavender bedclothes that were strewn down onto the carpet.

"Buffy where is she?" Dawn finally half-led and half-dragged Tara to the doorway as the blonde's legs started to give on her.

"I don't know." Buffy threw a panicked glance in Dawn's direction as she grabbed one of the displaced blankets and pulled it up in her hands, she threw it hard against the wall. "Willow." Irrationally the Slayer ran to the window peering out of the closed glass panes.

"She has to be somewhere?" Dawn helped Tara in further and positioned her to ease down to sit on the bed.

"I know." Buffy snapped her head round and glared at Dawn unintentionally harshly.

"I'm just saying." Dawn made sure Tara was safely sitting before she dashed to check the closet, pulling herself through clothes to the very back. "She's not in here!" She mumbled and tried to get back out only to find herself tied up in a sweater.

"Shush." Tara suddenly made the request of everyone. "Please just shush." She repeated her voice infinitely tender. Dawn stopped her battle with the interior of the closet and Buffy stopped at the window. "Listen." She urged them all quietly her finger still hovering near her lips.

As the room finally went down to silence the soft sound of erratic deep breaths could be heard, though they were muffled. Tara could see Buffy's slayer sense tuning into the noise just as her own 'Willow' sense did too. Silently the Slayer pointed to the bed and then motioned under it. Tara nodded not speaking yet either.

"How did she get under there?" Dawn whispered knowing that there wasn't that much of a space between the bed frame and the floor. Both Buffy and Tara gave the teenager their best 'no clue' shrug. "How do we get her out?" She asked the next important question.

"Ah now that I do have a clue on." Buffy moved forward. "If you'd just like to help Tara stand Dawn…" The Slayer took up a position at the foot of the bed, grasping the end board with both hands. Reluctantly Dawn moved over offering Tara her arms.

"No." Tara looked up and smiled at Dawn shaking her head, she turned more on the bed and looked at Buffy. "That's not the way, she has to get herself out." She explained softly.

"Oh." Buffy stopped her hands on the wood. "Should Dawn and I go downstairs?" She looked to the blonde for guidance.

"Maybe." Tara thought for a moment and then looked up shaking her head again. "No." She decided upon. "No, it's important for us all to help her, not just me." The Wicca said softly.

"What do we do then?" Dawn questioned worried.

"We assure her that it's ok to come out." Tara gently guided them. "Buffy, you're better at me than getting down right now, see what you can do." The blonde encouraged the Slayer.

Buffy nodded and moved over to the side of the bed getting down on her knees before she flipped up the bed skirt.

"Will, Will are you in there?" She questioned softly and only muffled sobbing answered her. "Willow, it's just me. Dawn and Tara are here, we really want you to come out." She tried again.

"Tara's dead!" Willow sobbed back as she wedged herself into the very centre.

"Willow, she's not dead. Remember? She came back to you, she came back to us." Buffy leaned down further and slowly moved her hand under. "If you just come out Will you can see her for yourself, she's up there sitting on the bed waiting for you." She stopped her arm when she realized the vague shadow under the bed was edging away from her. "Willow please, you must be hurting yourself under there. Please come out."

"Yeah Willow please." Dawn's voice joined Buffy's as the teenager wiggled down next to her sister.

"See everyone wants you to come out. We have nice fruit salad for breakfast and the little cereal with marshmallows that you like." Buffy tried to keep her voice soft and soothing.

"And you have to braid my hair for me. If you don't do it I'll have to go to school with bad hair." Dawn encouraged gently.

From her place on the bed Tara closed her eyes for a moment letting the room around her fade away as she concentrated on her lover. Suddenly feelings of almost overwhelming claustrophobia pressed down upon her and a myriad of voices swirled around and around her head.

"Dawn, Buffy." Tara instructed softly and Buffy's head poked up over the edge of the mattress. "You need to back away." She motioned back with her hand.

"Away?" Buffy looked for a moment and then nodded as she urged Dawn to move back with her.

"Willow, sweetie can you hear me?" Tara spoke in a loud, clear voice. The sniffling and sobbing seemed to get quieter for a moment as if the redhead was listening. "Buffy and Dawn weren't lying to you, I'm not dead, no matter what you might see when you close your eyes." She kept talking.

"I killed everyone." Willow's voice whined out as she admitted the content of her dream.

"It was just a dream sweetie." Tara continued finding it hard to stay in her place and not rush down and offer solace to her lover. All of the feelings that were being show to her though underlined that Willow had to make the effort here, had to take this small step to break out of her cycle of pain. "Just a dream." She underlined.

"I want it to be a dream." Willow's breathing was ragged. "But what if it's not?"

"If its not, then you can punish me for lying to you… you can take away Mr. Muffleuffous." Tara replied not sure indeed why she had quoted the name. It had just somehow pushed into her head.

The mere mention of the name made the sobbing stop and a slight scuffling could be heard as the redhead moved a bit closer to the edge.

"How do you know about Mr. Muffleuffous?" Willow's hand emerged around the edge.

"I know because you bought him for me." Tara replied as her memory helpfully filled in a small gap. She moved her hand down so that it rested ever so close to Willow's. "At the little stall at the Sunday market and you had to pay extra for all the letters cause they embroidered his name on his little shirt."

"Tara?" Willow's head poked out a little, her eyes puffy and red from crying.

"Though do not expect me to explain why we called him that in front of Dawnie." Tara said as she looked down at her lover tenderly. "Hey sweetie." She added meeting wet green eyes.

"Hey I'm not that naive." Dawn huffed from her place by the wall.

"You should be." Buffy hissed under her breath.

"Baby, you're still alive?" Willow whispered and pulled reluctantly out a bit further.

"A little more alive every minute I spend with you." Tara nodded softly as she spoke and slipped her hand down into Willow's.

"Oh like you can talk!" Dawn turned and poked her sister in the arm.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Buffy turned to glare at the brunette.

"All I have to say is Angel." Dawn poked her again.

"That was so different." Buffy hissed and rubbed her arm.

"Oh it's always different when it comes to you." Dawn rolled her eyes looking over to Tara for support when she stopped. "Ahhh." She smiled when she saw Willow was now fully out from under the bed and hugging onto Tara. Buffy followed Dawn's eyes and breathed out softly as she too saw the girls embraced together with Tara rocking Willow gently.

"Lets go and get breakfast shrimp." She motioned to the door with her head.

"I am so taller than you." Dawn pushed up sticking out her tongue at her sister as she happily moved to the door.

Buffy knocked softly on the still open door to the witches' bedroom. Everyone had been thoughtfully avoiding the upstairs but now that Madalene and Giles had returned with a lavish breakfast brunch for everyone it had been silently decided that Buffy should go up to invite the two missing Scoobies. 

"Will, Tara?" She questioned gently poking her head inside to see the two curled up on the bed though green eyes looked up at her.

"She's asleep." Willow's voice was gentle, her body wound into Tara's. 

"We have yummy breakfast, I can bring you both up some." Buffy moved into the room a little closer to the bed so that she wouldn't have to raise her voice and risk waking the blonde. 

"Thank you." The redhead seemed to ignore what Buffy was offering as she lifted her head a little to look at Tara's serene face. Buffy was about to question but she stopped herself and moved even closer sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Willow, it wasn't me." The Slayer admitted reluctantly. "It was because she loves you."

"I meant for taking care of me." The redhead closed her eyes breathing deeply. "When I couldn't."

"It's my job, best friend of you." Buffy smiled softly feeling a warm feeling fill her.

"You didn't have to... you could have just..." Willow stopped and opened her eyes again. "You could have just left me."

"How could I have?" Buffy shook her head. "I love you Will, ok so it's not the way that Tara loves you but its the strongest way I've loved anything. You, Dawn, Xander, all of you, you are my family." She vowed softly.

"I love you too." Willow held eyes with the Slayer her voice soft and completely her own. "There were so many times I wanted to tell you but it was so hard."

"I get that." Buffy assured her friend. "Will, I can't imagine how hard this all must have been." Her voice was full of every emotion the Slayer had ever felt. "I wish with all my heart I could have spared you it."

"It would have been so much worse without you." Willow admitted with a slight shiver, her involuntary movement causing Tara to hug her a bit closer as she slept.

"Didn't happen." Buffy smiled, and then looked at the sleeping blonde, "What's it like?" She asked softly.

"What is what like?" Willow questioned not understanding.

"Having her back." Buffy clarified, but then suddenly regretting it, realising she had momentarily thought she had 'old Willow' back.

"I have my heart back." Willow whispered her voice almost too scared to be above that.

"I'll get you two breakfast." Buffy felt her eyes fill with tears as she pushed herself towards the door. Safely reaching the hall she took a deep breath and closed the door behind her.

"It's alright you know." Madalene offered softly from her spot a few feet down the hall, she cupped a glass of juice in one hand.

"Madalene, I..." Buffy looked behind herself quickly to the closed door as she wiped away the tear that had leaked onto her cheek. "I didn't see you there." She added turning back.

"I didn't mean to startle you. Dawn figured Willow would need these." She held up the small paper cup filled with the redhead's morning pills.

"God I didn't even think to bring those up." Buffy frowned and rubbed her head.

"Buffy, I know I'm not one of the gang and I know we perhaps haven't gotten off to the best start but its okay." The spellcaster smiled softly. "You don't have any responsibility to be strong or hold this all together, not for me at least."

"What's to hold together?" The Slayer asked with an almost maniacal giggle strung at the end of her words.

"Your best friend has been teetering on the brink of institutionalisation, I showed up on your doorstep to tell you her once dead lover is going to rise, Tara did indeed come back, and you have an entire world looking to you as the Slayer to save them." Madalene began a short list. "Just to make a stab in the dark."

"Hey it's been a good year." Buffy laughed again but this time her tone was pained and tired.

"I can't imagine." The brunette shook her head softly. "I mean I thought rising from the dead was a big one, but you have me totally beat."

"Hey did that one too." Buffy sighed she altered her stance a little to lean partially on the wall tipping her head so that it too came to rest on the wallpaper.

"I wonder what it is like to feel a love like that." Madalene questioned thoughtfully as she leaned against the wall opposite. "To have that completion, that innate knowledge, to have the drive of two souls in synchronicity." Buffy again glanced over her shoulder at the door as the spellcaster continued.

"Good when you have it, disastrous if you loose it." Buffy summed up.

"I sometimes wonder..." The spellcaster began with a frown. "If somewhere there is someone who thinks of me, who agonizing like Willow because I went away."

"Doesn't it make you want to go back, find out for sure." Buffy asked genuinely interested.

"But what if I go back and fine nothing?" Madalene turned to look at the Slayer. "Worse than that, what if I find out I was a horrible person?"

"I don't mean this in any 'knowledge' kind of way but from what I've seen from Tara, coming back even if it erases your memory doesn't fundamentally change who you are, who you were. I mean Tara died a soft, gently loving young woman and that's how she came back." Buffy hoped she was making some sense.

"So I've always been a pretentious know-it-all?" The spellcaster let a smirk slide onto her face and was happy to see Buffy smile back.

"Probably." Her smiled turned into a grin.

"I was going to do my morning meditation after breakfast if you wanted to join me." Madalene laughed lightly as she pushed off the wall.

"Sounds kinda heavy." Buffy pushed off her resting place too. "But I'm the Slayer, I can take on the world."

"I highly doubt you are just the slayer Buffy." Madalene admitted moving over with the medication to the door. "The Slayer didn't make you take care of her when the world fell apart."

"No." Buffy took a slight breath. "So…" She took a slight step towards the spellcaster. "So have you thought what happens next in the life of Madalene Slean?"

"I will probably be imposing on your hospitality for a little while longer until Tara no longer needs me." Madalene admitted. "Then... well I have no idea."

"How is Tara doing, in your opinion?" Buffy asked reaching out for Willow's medication.

"Off the chart." She admitted. "Buffy after this length of time I could barely open my eyes let alone do anything but sleep."

"But should we be being sterner with her, you know make her take it a little easier?" Buffy looked to the dark haired woman for advice.

"No, I think maybe we should push her to more exercise." Madalene shook her head.

"Really, I mean we don't wanna burn her out or anything." Buffy questioned worried.

"Sleep is still very important, but I think maybe more exercise will ease the cramping and the spasms." She tried to explain her logic.

"Yeah, ok I get that." Buffy nodded.

"Nothing strenuous, nothing hard core. Just maybe some stretching, tai chi and flexibility movements." She went on.

"I guess I should get these to Willow." Buffy stood close to the spellcaster for a long moment, then she glanced back at the closed door.

"I'll go help with breakfast." Madalene nodded and moved back down the hall towards the stairs.

Willow chased the little bit of strawberry jam around the plate with the last bite of her toast before successfully catching enough of it to gobble it down.

"All done." She announced proudly showing Tara her empty breakfast plate.

"Wow." Tara beamed brightly. "You're a great muncher."

"I like making you smile." Willow admitted when she was rewarded with just that. A part of her knew a miniature cup of fruit salad, a strip of bacon and 2 pieces of toast, crusts off, was not a full sized meal but it seemed to be making everyone very happy, especially Tara.

"Making me smile is easy if your name is Willow Rosenberg, so let me check, what's your name?" The blonde shifted a little to sit more upright.

"Willow Rosenberg." The redhead giggled.

"Wow look." Tara smiled even more brightly. "It works."

"What if my name was..." Willow thought. "Willow Maclay?"

Tara looked at the redhead her smile softening a little but only as a look of complete adoration filled her eyes.

"Rosenberg-Maclay sounds better." She said softly.

Willow smiled lovingly as the comfort the familiar conversation wrapped around her strained psyche.

"Or Maclay-Rosenberg." The redhead added after a long thoughtful pause. "We could never figure out which way to go."

"Really?" Tara continued to look at her lover. "Did we talk about it often?"

"When we were feeling silly and smiley." Willow put her plate down on the tray and rolled over onto her stomach on the bed looking sideways at Tara. "Then we used to say we'd just pick a whole new name."

"Like what?" Tara reached out and played with Willow's hair.

"Mmmmm Miss. Tara and Willow Fantastico." The redhead giggled.

"Wouldn't we be Mrs. Willow and Tara Fantastico and not Miss?" Tara laughed as she twirled red silk like strands round her finger.

"Oh you don't remember Miss. Kitty." Willow's face fell a little.

"Oh Willow, I'm sorry." Tara's face too formed a frown she pulled her hand free from Willow's hair suddenly feeling sad.

"It's not a good thing to remember." She frowned more her voice much smaller. "We don't know where she is."

"Don't know where she is?" Tara frowned so much it almost hurt.

"Glory." Willow spoke the word with such distaste that she felt her small breakfast churn in her stomach.

"Glory?" Tara's face now seemed fixed in hard confusion as she tried to remember. The name invoked a reaction inside her but what reaction and why she couldn't figure out.

"She wanted to kill Dawnie." Willow's face scrunched up in angry emotion. "She hurt you."

"Oh." Tara's frown disappeared the instant she saw Willow's face change. "We don't have to talk about this sweetie, tell me something else, tell me about out kitten." She made he logical jump that Miss. Kitty was a cat, their cat.

"She was a sneaky cat." Willow jumped thoughts and feelings almost desperately at the prompting. "She lived in your dorm room and liked the twinkle star lights."

"I bet she was, we should have twinkly lights in here." Tara took a quick glance around the room.

"That would be nice." Willow nodded against the pillow. "Are you happy?" She asked quietly after a short pause.

"Of course." Tara answered quickly. "I'm with you, how could I not be?" The blonde reached out and stroked Willow's cheek lightly. "Are you, and before you answer its okay not to know."

"I think..." Willow stopped the words abruptly. "I feel..." She bit her lip when things didn't come to a proper answer in her head. "I do when I look at you, I think... but things are always crawling around. I don't know what they are." She squeezed her eyes tight. "I want them to go away so I can be happy with you."

"What kind of things, can you tell me?" Tara asked gently, moving her hand to stroke over Willow's hair.

"It's like electricity." Willow kept her eyes closed slightly soothed by the motion. "All crackling around making things bright in places and so dark in others."

"That must be so hard." Tara soothed.

"I know Giles worries there is still magic but there isn't any anywhere." She continued in a tiny voice. "It's all gone, there's just big holes."

"Holes?" Tara checked her lover's wording.

"Voids... like black holes dragging everything else into them." Willow unconsciously moved closer to the blonde and the comfort she offered.

"We can fill the holes baby." Tara reached out and drew the redhead closer.

The spellcaster felt her lungs come to the end of a long exhale just as the complex pattern of arm movements they were running through reached a contact point as her fingertips briefly came together before parting again.

Her eyes were focused on Buffy's hazel ones about six feet away where the Slayer echoed her every movement in complete time. It had taken some convincing to get the Slayer to believe this would work and even a bit more to actually get them into time with one another but now their movements flowed in perfect echo. Buffy's fingertips came together exactly two slow heartbeats after Madalene's.

The only possible other contrast was while the spellcaster's arms moved in strain through the weaves of natural energy around her, the Slayer's muscles strained as her expert body was tuned to force out each movement in precise direction.

*Everything you do in this world creates an echo.* Madalene sent the thought gently to the Slayer curious if the interruption would break their synchronicity though not surprised when it didn't. *Each breath a torrent to lesser creatures, each heartbeat the pressured flow of miles of blood, each tear an ocean.*

Purposely Madalene began speeding up their movements, pleased when Buffy instantly reacted to the change and met her every motion exactly two heartbeats behind.

*Balance comes when you know both the outcome of your action and its echo.* She spoke again seeing only the smallest reaction as Buffy's pupils further opened in concentration.

Almost to her own surprise she realized that in a fluid exchange it was Buffy who now led their movements, the beginnings of sharper patterns at a yet faster speed flowed out of the Slayer's trained body. Madalene felt each of them come to her at the correct time easily.

*Balance comes from the power to lead and to follow.* She added offering her submission and their movements became more a series of fighting moves, though as before her own series was soft while Buffy's was firm.

The spellcaster felt the subtle change taking hold as the impossibly fast speed slowed down again to an almost equally painful crawl. The world around them melted away, the meter of the universe the simple thud of Buffy's heart and her echo. Her body moved on despite her mind, moved as the Slayer's did though she could see that Buffy's mind was as far away from her body right now.

The spellcaster knew somewhere far away her hands were clenched into soft fists as her arms moved inward toward her chest to bring the knuckles together. But the motion seemed to take years as time got sluggish and a large moment of silence now filled the time between Buffy's heartbeat and her own. Madalene wasn't sure how long it took but as Buffy's knuckles and then hers finally reached each other they stopped still and the world rushed forward suddenly.

"Buffy?" Madalene put her hand up to try and shield herself from the torrent of sand that swirled around her and as she spoke it suddenly died down.

"Wh-What?" The Slayer's eyes flicked round quickly, obviously not having expected the change.

"How did we?" Madalene looked slowly around at the barren dessert that was spread out before the alcove of rocks they stood within. "Get here?" She finished the words almost as a second question.

"I don't know." Buffy swished her head around again. "But I know this place." She added her brow furrowing.

"Its..." Madalene reached up to realized her hair was tied up in an intricate pattern with various metallic clips. She looked down to see that she was now dressed in an ornate gold and red dress. Her feet were bare and as her hands her skin was stained with light brown patterns. "Why am I dressed like an Indian Princess?"

"Pass." Buffy looked down to see that she was dressed in the same outfit that she had been during the meditation. "Though last time I was here, Tara was with me and she was well dressed kinda similar."

"Where is here?" The brunette questioned immediately.

"Well it's a dream, that is I think it is. I was brought here once by Tara or a spirit guide to face the first slayer." Buffy realised what she was saying probably didn't make much sense but it was the truth.

"A dream?" Madalene looked to the horizon as a slight shape formed there and at a breakneck speed moved towards them.

As it got closer the form became visible against the sandy background.

"No, no, no, no, no you can't be here." A small bald man in a grey mail order catalogue suit shook his head obviously upset as he finally stepped close enough for them to hear him. "The cheese isn't ready for you, you must wait for the cheese to call you."

Madalene was about to question what the strange little man was going on about when the sand around them rose up again obstructing her vision.

Feeling her arms cramped within the pose, Madalene blinked away her stare into hazel eyes. Taking a deep breath she dropped her arms and stepped back out of the position.

"I think maybe you need to explain that to me." Madalene tried to stay calm as she eased away the distant feeling.

"And I'm thinking we need to go and talk to Giles about it." Buffy shook her arms out before letting them drop naturally by her side. "Unless that was normal for you and I just added the cheese dimension."

"Everything including the cheese was new to me." Madalene conceded picking up her sweater from off the grass. "I think chatting with your Watcher might be a good idea."

Giles carried the glass of chilled white liquid through to the living room and the blonde who was propped comfortably on it.

"I thought perhaps something nutritious." He offered as he placed the glass down on the table within her reach. "I firmly believe that Buffy assumes the amount of milk in one of those speciality coffees is actually the recommended daily dosage of calcium."

"You mean it isn't?" Tara smiled softly at the Watcher.

"How are you feeling?" He smiled back and asked the serious question.

"Honestly?" The blonde asked reluctantly.

"Please." Giles nodded.

"A little confused and a lot helpless." Tara looked down as if her admittance somehow made her a bad person.

Giles watched on for a moment feeling his own helplessness when he couldn't immediately provide her with answers to quell her confusion, nor could he properly relieve her fears of the future.

"M-M-M-Mr. Giles?" Tara looked up slightly and he looked at her hoping she would continue. "Who was Glory?"

"She was a Hell God." He answered succulently. "How much do you remember?"

"Nothing." Tara shook her head.

"Glorificus came because Dawn posses a power to forge gateways between hell dimensions and it was that power that she needed to return home." He recounted his face sad.

"Dawnie?" Tara's blue eyes went wide.

"Dawn before she was given to Buffy for protection was a ball of energy aptly named the Key. Monks forged her into a human form to hide her from Glorificus." Giles turned slowly to meet blue eyes.

"But she found her." Tara tried her hardest to take his information in stride.

Giles nodded unable to bring himself to tell the young blonde of the horror she herself had gone through but at this moment didn't remember.

"Willow told me..." Tara nervously toyed with her hands in her lap. "Willow said that she hurt me, is that true?"

"Yes." Giles swallowed hard feeling his throat close up. "She hurt you because you would not tell her that Dawn was indeed the key. You were quite literally the bravest amongst us all." He stepped a bit closer.

"Did anyone else get hurt?" Tara asked softly.

"All of us in one way or another." Giles sat down on the coffee table to look at her, the move showing his overwhelming focus on the memory.

"I'm sorry." Tara whispered.

"My dear child you did nothing to be sorry for." Giles instantly shook his head. "In all of it you proved time and time again your loyalty and if I had not been too much of a foolish old man I would have foreseen how far Willow would go in order to save you."

"How far did she go?" Tara shivered slightly.

"Attempting to punish Glory for hurting you was the first time she fully used the dark magicks." He hung his head shamefully.

"So I have been as much the cause of Willow's pain as I have been the cure." Tara looked up her blue eyes filled with anguish.

"No." Giles shook his head looking up again. "There was no right or wrong path then Tara, there was only desperation and a battle we were very steadily losing."

"But we won, in the end?" Tara tried to find some solace.

"Yes, we saved the world." Giles looked up at the blonde unable to focus for a moment as the slight of her cradling Willow as she sobbed by Buffy's broken body burnt through his mind.

"It's when we lost Buffy isn't it." Tara closed her eyes for a moment as the glimpse of a memory flashed into her head.

"Yes, her blood closed the portal. It had to be either her or Dawn." Giles frowned again.

"Forgive me for my next question." Tara said softly and Giles nodded for her to continue. "I remember you but I remember you here but you weren't here." Tara frowned not sure she was making herself clear.

"You mean because I left for England and then came back after Buffy was resurrected? Only to leave again." Giles hoped that was what she was thinking of.

"Yes, that is I didn't know I didn't remember all the here and there but why aren't you here anymore?" Tara smiled still hoping she made sense.

"I have convinced myself of the strange notion that I am not needed." Giles admitted softly.

"Not needed?" Tara looked up. "Buffy and Dawn lost their mother, I lost mine, I don't think Anya has parents, Xander seems to wish he didn't and Willow, well I'm not sure about Willow. It seems to me that the one thing we're lacking here is a dad, I mean not that I say that to make you feel bad." Tara instantly panicked.

"Actually your the first person whose made me feel better about it." Giles smiled at her broadly. "Do you really think I'm that needed?" He questioned hopefully.

"This might sound selfish but right now I think I need you. I mean I don't remember what you used to think of me or anything like that but I feel like I can trust you and well Buffy has enough to worry without…" Tara began trying to explain.

"I have always thought you were a lovely young woman." Giles assured her. "And I would be happy to stay."

"But?" Tara looked at the Watcher giving him the chance to find an escape route.

"I have no but." He shook his head and with that Tara's smile was brightened.

"Do you think I will remember?" She asked running her hand down the length of her skirt.

"I honestly don't know Tara." Giles shook his head softly. "But I do promise you that we will do all we can to get you whatever answers are out there."

"I'm not the priority." Tara shook her head.

"And we will do what we can to assist you in drawing Willow back." Giles pulled off his glasses. "I have been researching with ever coven and oracle I can find to see if it is possible to release the magic inside her."

"Do you really think there is still magic there?" She asked softly.

"We overloaded her with light magic too..." Giles pushed his glasses back on as he offered the explanation but stopped short. "You don't think there is?" He read her look.

"She says there isn't." Tara revealed the small fact that Willow had passed to her that morning. Giles' face turned thoughtful for a few moments as he contemplated things.

"Hey what's going on here?" The Slayer's voice cut through the quiet as she and Madalene appeared.

"Oh Buffy." Giles stood up and straightened out his waistcoat.

"Oh Giles." Buffy repeated his phrase. "And I ask again…" She looked at the watcher her eyes hardening. "What's going on here?"

"We were just discussing history." Giles held her glare as she repeated. "And ways to help Willow."

"Oh!" Some of the wind was taken out of Buffy's sails with this answer. "Come up with any?" She added quietly.

"Tara has suggested perhaps that it is a total lack of magical energy within Willow in contrast to the continued magical overload that is the root of some problems." He tried to explain. "That perhaps we've been looking for the wrong answer."

"No witch can have a complete lack of magical energy." Madalene's voice betrayed her concern more than she had intended.

"What?" Buffy screwed her face up a little.

"She talks of holes, inside her." Tara spoke up.

"I mean technically it could happen but it would be..." Madalene floundered. "It would be like going blind or deaf or dumb suddenly. All the other senses would try to compensate for the overload, though unlike our natural senses the compensation wouldn't be productive."

"Okay but maybe I am hearing everything really wrong here but we can't really be discussing putting magical energy back into Willow?" Buffy's eyes grew wide.

"We aren't discussing doing anything of yet." Giles shook his head. "We are merely realizing that perhaps there is a different avenue that deserves exploration and if we fully perceive this to be Willow's problem the best way to correct it."

"But she's better, I mean she's better than she was and with Tara here won't that just make her better in time?" Buffy looked at Giles.

"We can't know that." Tara said softly. "If part of Willow's problem has to do with this magical energy, I can't do anything about that."

"What did you do to her?" Madalene stared at the older Watcher contempt and horror running thickly in her voice.

"I'm sorry?" Giles looked over to he spellcaster a little taken back by her tone.

"What did you do to her?" Madalene repeated the phrase not editing even one syllable.

"To Willow?" Giles looked for some element of clarification.

"Yes." The spellcaster nodded.

"We did what was necessary, forced her to consume light magical energy to nullify the dark energy she was running on." Giles replied, wondering why the spellcaster wasn't aware of this as of yet.

"I'm sorry but are you insane or just profoundly stupid?" Madalene reached a hand up to her temple visibly shaken as she made the accusation.

"I beg your pardon." Giles frowned hard.

"The most primary magic user knows that light and dark do not nullify one another, they work in tandem. For the forces that work to bring chaos must exist for the forces that work to bring order to exist and vice versa." Madalene chastised him. "You've put her in limbo, you've detached her from the natural order."

"We did what was necessary and it was not my decision. Now I appreciate that you may be from an ancient family, who we know little about, but I can assure you that the highest most competent covens in the world made the decision of how to help Willow, how to stop her road to destruction." Giles rose angrily to the argument. "You may not know this Madalene but Willow was on the edge of destroying everything you see around you." He added in a slightly more controlled tone. "She had already become a murderer."

"Okay I really think this conversation could climb down a few steps on the aggressive ladder and still be classed as dangerous, so do you two want to tone it down?" Buffy stepped forward and glanced between Madalene and Giles.

"I think perhaps Buffy is right." Madalene took a quick breath and tried to shake the tension from her body.

"Oh believe me I know I am right." Buffy flashed a quick look to guide Madalene's eyes to the couch where Tara had gone very pale and pulled herself into a small corner of the soft cushioned seat.

"I'm sorry Tara, I was out of line." Madalene apologized to the blonde softly as she moved over and sat down.

Tara shook her head and made a definite effort to relax her anxiety tensed muscles but the heavy atmosphere in the room made it impossible for the blonde to relax.

"Giles, I need a chat." Buffy looked up at her Watcher. "Perhaps you could make me tea." The Slayer looked off towards the kitchen.

"But you don't..." Giles went to contradict her. "Yes, of course." He nodded and moved regretfully towards the kitchen.

Buffy sat down as Giles very carefully poured out two cups of tea. She didn't have the heart to tell him she actually didn't want any and that her whole offer had been to get him alone to talk.

"Earth to Giles." She requested softly when he didn't do anything but stare off into space.

"Sorry." The Watcher looked down into his milky drink.

"It's okay, I mean most of that witchy stuff was way over my head but I think that was just Mads way of being freaked out and worried. We're all still sorta learning her." Buffy tried to be supportive. "And she doesn't know the whole story Giles, we didn't have much of a choice."

"Yes, well forgive me for being a little tired of young reckless witches who don't know the whole story blundering in without a care of who they might hurt by their words or actions." Giles took a tight sip of the hot tea and then put the cup down a little too hard on the side nearly spilling it.

"Duly noted I will tell her to tone it down." Buffy nodded thoughtfully, not sure if she particularly liked playing the go between here but knowing she didn't have much of a choice. "But on that note we have another bit of a problem."

"We do?" Giles looked at Buffy seeming a little more tempered.

"Well while Mads and I were outside doing the meditation we sorta slipped into a place that really looked like the desert the first slayer dragged me too. But this time Madalene was all dressed up like Tara was and the cheese guy showed up to tell us it wasn't time for us to be there yet." Buffy tried to explain taking a sip of her drink and then screwing up her face as she remembered she didn't like tea.

"The man from our dream visions after destroying Adam?" Giles perked up further.

"Cheese man." Buffy nodded firmly. "He said the cheese wasn't ready for us, the cheese would call us when it was."

"And you both had the vision?"

"At the same time." The Slayer tired to fill him in.

"Interesting." Giles assessed.

"We're doing the freaky but very cool echo meditation and then suddenly it was like we all went out of our bodies and then ended up in the dessert with cheese man." Buffy went on.

"And you say Madalene looked like Tara did in the dream?" Giles drew out the details more.

"Same clothes, same skin markings and same hairdo. Just this time Madalene and not Tara." Buffy swirled her spoon in her tea.

"Interesting." Giles nodded again.

"And before you ask she was as freaked out by it as I was." Buffy added softly.

"That surprises me." Giles mumbled before sipping his tea again.

"Why?" The Slayer questioned immediately.

"No forgive me that was a classic example of a middle aged Englishman trying out embittered sarcasm." Giles put his drink down again. "I am sure she was disturbed by it."

"Giles, you really don't like her do you?" Buffy questioned honestly.

"I am grateful to her for the information she brought us and for her part in bringing Tara back and of course her role in the Maladic situation but she is reckless, impulsive and potentially dangerous, not to mention quick to judge." Giles reeled off his reasons.

"So she's like a magical me?" Buffy grinned though she quickly wiped it off her face knowing Giles wasn't getting the joke.

"No Buffy. You always put other people first." Giles shook his head "You always have, which means with you situations like that never happened."

"So what are we going to do?" Buffy asked bluntly.

"About what, your dream vision, Tara or Willow." Giles asked back.

"All of it." Buffy clarified by not clarifying.

"Your dream vision I can research, Willow, for the moment waiting and seeing seems an option, and Tara..." Giles stopped and thought. "I'm not sure." He admitted.

"What do you mean not sure?" Buffy gave him a worried look.

"I mean having Tara back is truly amazing but as always there are consequences." Giles said with a sombre sigh.

"Buts like?" Buffy pushed not wanting anything to spoil her one thread of happiness in this. "I'm seeing happy love and rainbows."

"Like what she remembers, what she doesn't, what she might?" Giles' voice was heavily loaded.

"Giles we have to deal with that when and if it comes." Buffy shook her head to his worry. "Right now she's most worried about getting well enough to walk the house without falling down and even more getting Willow healthy."

"Is she?" Giles contradicted. "Or is she more frightened that she seems to be the only thing keeping someone she, in reality barely knows, alive and in the real world." He suggested.

"Okay Giles, I know Mads pissed you off but I'm on your side remember?" Buffy stood up. "And hey if I knew how to wave my hand and fix all of this don't you think I would have by now?"

"I didn't mean to come across in any way blaming you Buffy." Giles shook his head. "Truly that was far from my thoughts, I'm merely raising the question of our need to be careful of pinning Willow's sanity on someone who has only been 'alive' for less than a week, someone who has forgotten more than Dawn has lived." His tone changed to a profoundly sad one.

"Why are these things never easy?" Buffy sighed loudly.

"I don't know but they never are. I'm sorry Buffy." He apologised heartfelt.

"It's okay, it's not your fault." Buffy shrugged and went to the fridge to get something to drink that she actually liked. "I just wish we had something to go on."

"I know and…" He took a breath. "Buffy I was talking to Tara earlier. She asked me to stay, I wondered what you felt about that."

"Oh." Buffy held the bottle of water and leaned back against the fridge. "Stay as in stay to live?" She questioned very carefully her facial expression not changing.

"For the foreseeable future." Giles pulled off his glasses.

"Do you want too?" Her questioned were obviously short and too the point.

"Buffy if you rather I went back to England I understand." The Watcher put his glasses on the side and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Thank you." Buffy all but threw the water to rest on the island as she grabbed him in a hug. A little mystified Giles held her tightly and then patted her back softly.

"Was that a stay or go hug?" He chuckled lightly.

"Don't make me go all mushy." Buffy finally pulled back and rubbed at her cheeks in an attempt not to cry. "I can't do mushy right now, world is all askew remember." She smiled.

"I'm sorry Buffy I think I made a grave error when I left after…" He glanced through to Tara on the couch. "After the funeral."

"I know how hard it was for you to see Willow, I know how..." Buffy shook her head. "It doesn't matter, you're back now."

"I'm going to need an apartment." He realized sombrely.

The dining room was a flurry of activity as everyone finally got to the point of settling down to eat before Buffy realized that no one had thought to get drinks and she reluctantly left her place at the head of the table to go get some.

Xander had arrived home from work with Chinese, having expected as he reasoned that no one would be in the mood for cooking and well with there being a full contingent of Scoobies now cooking wouldn't the easiest thing anyway. He'd secretly been happy when even Anya had arrived to lay claim to her favourite dish, which he'd been careful to buy extra of.

The carpenter was even prouder that he'd remembered Madalene was a vegetarian and had successfully chosen a few dishes that the otherwise quiet spellcaster seemed drawn towards.

"A little bit of rice please." Willow nodded softly to the question as Tara carefully dished out the white sticky mixture next onto her plate.

"The rice looks nice." Tara smiled her encouragement as she served herself some too. "The Chinese must love us." She added as she looked around the many and varied boxes

"The little man at the shop calls Xander his American son." Willow giggled as she played with her napkin.

"Apparently I'm putting his kids through college." Xander piped in laughing as he reached back to get a drink from the Slayer as she handed them out.

At the far end of the table Giles smiled at the conversation and shifted a mouthful of food onto his fork and into his mouth.

"Mmmmm this is very good, prawns with cashew?" He asked of Xander enjoying the dish.

"Oh is it nice, we all have to try it then." Tara grinned and reached to steal a forkful.

"Tara!" Willow jumped up her hand smacking at the fork sending the mouthful soaring across the room to land on Xander's shirt. Everyone stopped mid word or movement as the redhead's body shook, her hand still clasped around the utensil.

"Will?" Buffy frowned as Xander pushed the hot food off his shirt onto a napkin.

"Prawns... prawns are shrimp." Willow shook her head. "She's allergic."

"I am?" Tara turned to look at Willow.

"You're allergic, they make you sick." Willow looked at the blonde nodding. "If you eat them your throat would swell up and you'd go into anaphylactic shock and I don't have your Epi pen anymore cause it expired and we didn't need a new one cause..." She stopped and looked over at the Slayer. "We need a new one now."

"Oh my love." Tara beamed and impulsively hugged Willow tightly.

"You don't remember but I do." Willow hugged her back.

"You see salt and pepper." Tara leaned back. "Need each other."

"Guy's I'm really sorry," From his place Xander apologised profusely. "I just got what we'd been getting. " He looked more and more uncomfortable.

"Xander, it's fine." Buffy put a hand on his shoulder smiling. "Tara never minded us getting shrimp before." She whispered to remind him before moving back to her chair. "Now someone give me food!" She grinned and held out her hand for one of the boxes since her plate was empty.

"Being considerate isn't one of Xander's better points but we all know he'd never do that deliberately." Anya leaned over and whispered in Tara's ear.

"No, no before piglet gets some I want more of the balls." Dawn intercepted the box as it was passed down the table.

"Dawn!" Buffy snorted as the table went silent for a moment, Xander's amusement contrasting to Giles' mild horror.

"What?" The teenager looked around and then flushed scarlet. "Oh."

"G-man you sure you want to stay?" Xander laughed as he looked over at the watcher who was attempting to eat again quietly.

"Oh yes, I really quite… missed this." He admitted slightly reluctantly.

"You're staying?" The squeak came from Anya suddenly and Giles laid his fork down slowly and looked up at her.

"Yes, I am." He admitted gently.

"But the shop..." Anya went pale.

All other conversation at the table died down to concentrate on the two of them as everyone else ate to cover up that they were listening.

"Its quite all right Anya." Giles sighed gently. "I signed the papers, I'm not going back on it."

"Oh no, this is just a horrible horrible day." The vengeance demon pushed her plate away.

"Anya, he doesn't want the shop." Xander tried to make her feel better. "He's still your silent partner."

"For how long?" Anya turned to him her face horrified. "Oh this is just the way it is for those of us in retail. Everything is alright and then wham, you life is falling apart." She wailed.

Tara glanced at Willow briefly to check her lover, before looking at Anya with a frown. Willow chewed her rice almost oblivious to the conversation.

"Anya he doesn't want the store." Buffy tried to figure what she was going on about. "Retail is all yours."

"No, he says that now but who knows tomorrow? I might not even have a store, not with the horrors happening." She went on and with this statement made everyone look up.

"What are you taking about?" Buffy questioned her immediately.

"Thieves." Anya looked around.

"Demon thieves?" Dawn questioned immediately.

"Well, I don't know about that there were no obvious horns." Anya shrugged. "I might be able to convince them to leave my store alone if they are."

"Does anyone know what she's talking about?" Buffy poked her fork angrily in the air.

"Mmmm not so much." Xander looked at his ex. "What are you talking about? We need a bit more."

"The robberies on Main Street, do you live in a bubble?" Anya replied staring at Xander.

"Who robbed what?" Xander chewed on the end of his egg roll.

"The lighting store, the furniture store, the jewellers." Anya reeled off. "Pretty much anything of value."

"When?" He pushed her further.

"Over the last three days."

"Didn't it strike anyone think to tell me about this if it might be demon related?" Buffy whined lightly.

"Oh I didn't say demon, could just be robbers, human robbers, they stole mainly metal and leather goods, like chairs, a couch and some tables." Anya began eating again as if this offered her some solace.

"This is Sunnydale." Buffy shook her head. "I better take a look around."

"It can wait till after Chinese Buffy." Giles prompted softly.

"Yeah we're having family dinner." Dawn smiled at her sister.

"Yes, and isn't it wonderful." Tara said softly from her place as everyone tried to move away from the robbery and onto more pleasant topics.

Dawn looked out over the front porch and patted her feet under the blanket that was covering both her and Tara as they observed life in Sunnydale going by slowly as everyone began hiding their homes for the night.

"This is so cool." The teenager admitted as she slurped at her large milkshake.

"I seem to remember you like shakes." Tara glanced at the teenager with a smile.

"I love shakes, especially huge ones." Dawn nodded. "You always make me promise to eat something green."

"Well there were many green things in the Chinese." Tara grinned. "You ate well at supper." She added not stopping to think about how motherly she must have sounded.

"Then I'm ahead already." Dawn laughed lightly. "I almost ate as well as Willow."

"Almost." Tara looked pleased with herself and her lover. "She did very well."

"Tara, that's more than Willow has eaten in some weeks." Dawn admitted trying not to dampen the mood but trying to be honest. "And now she's up doing research. This is way off the wow factor."

"She is off the wow scale." Tara confirmed that this was indeed how she felt about the redhead.

"You still get that sparkly look in your eye." Dawn swooned hugging the blanket to her. "I can't wait till I meet someone who makes me sparkly."

"Oh Dawnie you have plenty of time." Tara laughed softly. "Have you even done the big kiss thing yet? I hadn't when I was sixteen."

"Big kiss? Mmmm well there was one but he turned out to be a vampire who wanted to turn me so I'm not counting him." Dawn shook her head.

"Eww no." Tara shook her head definitely. "He most certainly doesn't count."

"I think that since then Buffy has scared off every teenage boy within fifty feet of me hasn't helped either." Dawn sighed softly.

"Well come on Dawnie, she has the best looking baby sister in the whole of Sunnydale." Tara soothed. "She has to watch you. I bet I used to watch you too."

"At least you'd encourage me to bring someone around." Dawn whined. "I think she expects me to be a nun."

"Oh so there is a someone you want to bring to the house." Tara turned softly and looked at the young woman beside her.

"Well no... I mean maybe... but I couldn't even think about it before." Dawn blushed a little.

"You can now though." Tara offered Dawn her hand.

"I know." Dawn grinned and laced her fingers into the blonde. "And I know everyone's worried but its going to be so much better now, I just know it will be."

"Thank you." Tara stroked the back of the teenager's hand softly.

"How are you feeling?" Dawn asked softly. "I must be still weird with all of us." She clarified. "I mean not bad weird but just weird."

"It is, and no not bad weird, just… you know my spirit feels at ease, even if my mind is questioning." Tara tried to explain. "Goddess Dawnie, sorry was that me going introspective on you?"

"Introspective is good." The teenager encouraged. "You need lots of you time."

"Maybe but I don't want it when I could be having Dawnie time." Tara smiled warmly at the youngest summers. "So tell me all about the possible maybes." She leaned closer.

Madalene stood near the edge of the island in the kitchen not really looking at anything as she pushed a finger into her right temple trying to quell the claustrophobic feeling in her mind and body.

Looking around at everything she thought it must be highly ironic to the universe that while Tara should be the one who felt the most out of place after her recent rising, it was her that felt the most alien among this close knit group.

It hadn't been the most fantastic day in her short history, after all it had not been her intention to completely make enemies with Buffy's watcher. But now that the older man seemed to refuse to even look at her, she was sure she'd managed to accomplish that none the least. Sometimes she wished she could sew her own tongue shut in her mouth. Thoughts and comments came out of her mind from recesses she didn't know or understand and before she could quell them it was too late. It was like reading aloud in a foreign language that you didn't understand until it was too late to take back the horrible insult that you'd just thrown.

"Hey witchy woo." Xander hopped into the room carrying the now empty tray that he had just taken up to offer Willow some fruit and chocolate. "The Willow took the chocolate and the apple but hey I got a banana I could split with ya." The young man pretended to pull the fruit from his waistband.

"Oh... no thank you. I'm fine." Madalene turned around.

"You're quiet." Xander began peeling the banana as he hitched up onto the island looking at the spellcaster.

"Just trying to remind myself to keep my mouth shut more often."

"What do you mean?" Xander enquired.

"I just said something completely out of line to Mr. Giles earlier, something I had no right to judge or comment on." Madalene sighed and leaned against the counter.

"Oh no worries." Xander shrugged. "He might look and seem all you know, old, but he's cool."

"I just..." She turned to him about to say something when she stopped herself. "I'm sorry Xander, you don't need to listen to me whining on about things."

"No, no please, its nice. I miss whining." Xander waved his hand around a little.

"It's just I know I am an outsider and I know I don't have half a clue about what's going on here or has gone on or will go on." Madalene folded her arms over her chest. "Oh who am I kidding it has nothing to do with that. I just... I don't remember anything Xander. I have a stupid little letter that tells me hardly anything. I have no memory, I have nothing but knowledge stuck inside my head that pops up at stupid times and inevitably makes me sound like a pretentious ass."

"You know you can shoot me for saying anything here." Xander began softly. "But perhaps its time you started you know, making new memories. I mean not that I'm Mr. great perspective, but you have a real chance here to make whatever you like of this life."

"But how can I make a new life when I have no idea what my old life was? What I need to improve on, what I need to do just as good or better." The spellcaster frowned.

"Be true to what you feel." Xander shrugged again. "I mean you have no chance of getting back the old stuff right? So you can't judge yourself by someone you didn't know. The you that you are now seems like a nice kind of person."

"Thank you." Madalene smiled softly at him reaching out to steal a piece off the banana he'd offered earlier.

"Hey Banana thief." Xander grinned. "So what did you say to the G man?"

"I think I called him stupid or ignorant or both." She frowned trying to remember.

"Ouch, way not to make friends." Xander grimaced.

"He was talking about what was done to Willow to stop her magical mania and I just couldn't believe what he was saying." Madalene defended herself half-heartedly. "It was one of those times when all this information pushes out and I'm sorta left behind it."

"Ah, yeah, though the tip would be lay of the Giles with the Willow references. One of the only reasons he left for England again was because of how bad he felt about it. He went to hound the Council and the coven that sent him for a way to make it better." Xander didn't want to make her feel worse but felt she needed to know.

"I can't imagine how much it hurt him." Madalene nodded that she understood.

"Best not too." Xander shivered slightly. "It was a bad time, bad time." He shook his head and for the first time lost a little of his typical Xander charm.

"Xander, I don't know why but I feel like there is something that I can help with in this, like there's something I know about this but I can't get it out unless I know more." She walked closer to him. "Can you tell me what went on?"

"After Tara died?" Xander checked.

"Anything to do with the magic." Madalene urged softly.

"We might wanna go sit down." Xander pointed towards the living room. "This could take awhile."

-x-

Willow breathed in and felt her lungs filled with a hard rotting smell that instantly made her cough. Startled she opened her eyes trying to adjust to the dimly lit area she was in.

"Hello?" She whispered softly as she tried to move and discovered that her arms and legs were firmly shackled to a cold dirt wall. "HELP!" She screamed in panic as she realized that she was obviously underground, in a cave of some sort and she was bound. None of this added up to anything good. "BUFFY!" She screamed again not knowing why she instantly expected the Slayer to be nearby.

"Will..." Panting hard the Slayer rushed in, bleeding slightly from a small cut across her forehead. She brandished a large sword in both hands.

"What is going on?" Willow tried to move but realized that the chains weren't budging. "Who tied me up?"

"Sorry, that was me..." The Slayer began looking at the set up. "But..." The blonde was cut off as a high pitched scream echoed through the small area. "DAWN!" The Slayer called out in instant recognition. "Where is she Willow?" Buffy turned angrily to the redhead.

"Buffy, how would I know?" Willow pulled again helplessly against her chains. "We have to help her."

"Stop it, stop messing with my head. I love you Willow and I feel your pain, but you can't do this to us." Buffy shook her head and drew the sword up resting it close to the redhead's throat. "Just tell me where she is."

"B-B-Buffy!" Willow squeaked as she felt the cold blade rest a hair away from cutting into her skin. "I don't know, I don't know what's going on."

Sighing hard Buffy pulled the sword away and then in a single stroke sheered the chains binding Willow to the wall. Though the strike did not release her hands as the chains ran between the two wrist cuffs. Stepping quickly forward the Slayer took the other end of the cut chain.

"If you're not gonna tell me Will, we're gonna have to do this the hard way. We're going this way." Buffy tugged the chain slightly as she began running.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Willow staggered along trying to keep up only now noticing the tight leather outfit her body was squeezed into. "Oh my Goddess is Vampire me loose again?"

"I so can't do this now." Buffy snarled as they rounded a corner to come face to face with the sight of Dawn surrounded by a large pack of vampires. With a hard shove she pushed Willow down to the floor behind her and ran forward towards her sister with the sword raised.

Willow felt her body fell forward into the dirt without being able to stop herself. As she struggled against the weight of the chains to push herself up she heard the crashes of swords in the melee beside her.

"Dawnie run, run!" She screamed at the teenager as the pack of vampires began converging on the sisters.

Buffy turned quickly to look at Willow, her dark jeans were ripped and scuffed. A line of fresh blood oozed from the cut on her forehead and Dawn rather than running was cowering against her sister's leg, shivering, cold and afraid. The vampires around them formed a tighter ring as they closed in.

To her complete surprise Willow felt her thin body lifted up as two vampires that appeared from the side tunnels.

"Mistress, we let the Slayer lead us so we could find where she had imprisoned you." The vamp to her left hissed bowing his head to her.

"Kill them while we protect the mistress!" The second younger one barked out orders to the horde as they began to carry her away to safety.

"NOOOO! Buffy! NOOOOOOOOO!" Willow screamed as her body was carried away.

Buffy whistled lightly to herself as she walked through the cemetery.

It was a cool but pleasant night and she had to admit that despite having to patrol it was almost a relief to have a few minutes to spend with just herself. Not that she wasn't going to also enjoy arriving back to Casa Summers, which was filled to the rafters with people but at least for a few moments she could reflect on the recent events. The gangs run in with Maladic still gave her the creeps, but at least the staff had been destroyed.

The night was quite and the Slayer made sure that she kept her senses primed for whenever the undead decided to give her some work. As she turned the corner around a crypt she was completely surprised by the scene that waited for her.

"All right now we told you that if you want to be out after twelve there's a new midnight surtax." A tall blonde vampire flexed his muscles by pushing the obviously inexperienced vampire in tattered clothes to the ground. "And you already had your freebie so pay up."

"Hey, excuse me, I'm out after midnight and I've heard nothing about this tax?" Buffy waved politely.

"Michael." A second bigger vampire addressed his blonde counterpart. "Company."

"Go away girlie, you get a freebie tonight too." Michael waved her off.

"Oh no really can't I stay around and see what happens next?" Buffy fluttered her eyelashes.

"Michael gets money or I beat the blood out of him." A lisped warning was sent back at her.

"Shut up Billy." Michael barked at the slightly less intellectually inclined vampire. "Look this has nothing to do with you so beat it before we drain you."

"Believe me you don't want to try that." Buffy replied shifting in her place resting a hand on her hip.

"And who the hell are you?" Michael questioned licking his lips.

"I'm Buffy, who the hell are you?" Buffy parroted back.

"We're your worse nightmare." Michael reached out and pushed their mark away. "You get another freebie but remember tomorrow night you gotta pay to feed." With the prompting the vamp quickly scurried away. "So little lady, since you've demanded our attention."

"What little old me got big bad you's attention? Wow go team me." Buffy raised an eyebrow but didn't move.

"She's pretty, Uncle might like her Michael." Billy ran a hand through his greasy slicked back hair.

"Mmmm you're right he might Billy." Michael nodded as he straightened his tie.

"Okay just who are you guys with the Gucci suits, the spanky leather shoes and the fangs? You're like the Godfather meets the Munster's or something." Buffy scoffed with a slight wave of her hand.

"We're the Brothers of Pain." Michael snarled at her. "And you have something against Gucci?"

"No, no." Buffy shook her head. "I'm sure its been a dream of mine to have a boyfriend who wore Gucci or at least could afford to but I mean you're the undead, isn't bad pants and torn shirts more your scene?"

"We have moved beyond the stereotype." Michael straightened out his crisp cuffs that were held closed with large diamond cufflinks. "You know it's not all about the biting and the bloodlust anymore."

"I have to say, I'm supporting the change of look but you should re-think the name." Buffy chuckled a little. "I mean 'Brothers of Pain?"

"Billy, I'm getting bored here." Michael waved his hand. "Kill her."

Billy grinned and smacked his large sledge like fists together as he moved towards Buffy.

"Oh and we were having such a nice chat." Buffy tutted and moved her hand just a fraction. The move let her reach into her coat as she pulled out her miniature crossbow and let off the small-sharpened stick instantly. The bolt whistled almost silently through the air and hit its mark, turning the vampire to dust instantly. "Now are you going to put up a fight or would that put the suit in danger?"

"Who are you?" Michael questioned a little unsure now. Buffy turned her hazel eyes up and looked straight at the remaining vampire.

"I'm Buffy, did I forget to add… The vampire Slayer?" She smiled brightly pulling out a stake from her waistband and twirling it.

"You!" Michael snarled as she realized who she was. He hung on the balls of his feet for a moment before he turned and began running away.

"Hey." Buffy's smile turned into a pout as the vampire ran. Then as she realised he was getting a long way away she changed her call to one of pursuit. "HEY!"

Buffy breached the small hill in the cemetery and stopped, glancing quickly down and round.

"Oh damn it!" She stamped her foot when she couldn't see any sign of him. "And I wanted to ask where he got those cufflinks."

Madalene pushed through the dark hallway towards the bathroom, not only cause it was the only room with a sliver of light piercing out from under its door but because she could feel weeping and it had woken her out of her sleep.

"Tara?" She whispered pushing on the door lightly to open it more.

"M-M-Madalene." The blonde looked up from her perch on the side of the bath. Her cheeks were wet and her blue eyes rimmed in red.

"Are you in pain?" Madalene moved into the bathroom and closed the door fully behind her.

"No, no I'm fine." Tara pushed herself up and wiped almost angrily at her cheeks. "Sorry, did you want to use the bathroom?" She made a move to go to the door.

"First I know you are not fine, if I didn't have a connection to you cousin then the crying would be enough to know." Madalene blocked the doorway. "Secondly, please I want to help." Her voice was soft and caring.

"I can't…" Tara shook her head and let it drop, a hard sob breaking from her throat.

"Can't?" Madalene moved very slowly to hug her making sure that the contact was welcome.

"I can't help her. I - I want to but I can't do anything but hold her and comfort her after this has all hurt her one more time." Tara leaned instantly into the support talking through her tears.

"But Tara that is help, that is so much help." Madalene held a bit tighter. "It is what she needs right now."

"But it doesn't help her." Tara shook her head.

"Did she have another nightmare?" The spellcaster questioned softly.

"Apparently, earlier." Tara pulled back and wiped her cheeks. "She was shaking when I came up to check on her."

"Tara, I know earlier I was horrible." Madalene's voice was soft and ashamed. "And Xander explained as best as he could to me magically what went on and mine might not be a popular opinion right now but I think the nightmares, I think they have something to do with the magic."

"There is no magic." Tara shook her head.

"That's exactly what I mean." Madalene offered instantly. "Mr. Giles can probably find out more, find out where these things are coming from but she can't ever be healthy as long as she has holes inside her."

"But we can't fill those holes." Tara shook her head. "I know this much Madalene, Willow cannot touch magic ever - ever again."

"No, from what Xander told me about it would be far too great a risk to her and everyone." Madalene agreed wholeheartedly. "What we need is a magic equivalent of Methadone but without the nasty side effects." The spellcaster sighed heavily, she felt more like she was hurting the situation again rather than helping.

"Like what? There is nothing that is magical that isn't magic." Tara said definitely. "That is I don't think there is, Goddess." Her shoulders sagged again.

"I promise you we'll fine a way." Madalene vowed in a whisper. "Something has to exist somewhere that can do this."

"Oh this is insane." Tara suddenly dropped completely ending on the floor in a small heap.

"We need to focus, you need to gather your strength." Madalene moved down to the tiles with the blonde sitting close and helping to straighten her body out to lean against the door. "What has been done has been done and we can't change that now. What we can do is shape the future."

"What future? Madalene, I couldn't even remember that I'm allergic to shrimp, how can I help Willow get over something this huge?" Tara hated the now familiar feeling of her body literally draining of energy that crept over her at that moment.

"Because you love her." Madalene soothed holding Tara in place so that she didn't have to fight gravity. "I know that might sound even more scary, but I can see the connection between you two. Its a living breathing state of being and I can honestly tell you that what is even more scary than having something that monumental is rising to this world with nothing." She breathed out quickly.

"Is it?" Tara choked out the words and looked up at the brunette.

"If you never remember another thing, even if we can never find a way to help fill the holes..." Madalene swallowed hard. "None of them will ever love you less, they will only love you more. You feed them life just by being here, you give them hope just by smiling." She tried to make her statement not about herself.

"And what would it do to them to see me crying?" Tara forced herself to look at the spellcaster.

"It would break their heart to think for a moment that you felt you weren't doing your very best." Mads reached up and tenderly wiped a tear from Tara's stained cheek. "Cause they know you are."

Buffy looked up back at the building and was forced to wave at the all too cheery real estate agent on the other side of the glass.

"What did you think?" She questioned turning back to Giles as they began to walk down to the parking area.

"It was a charmless box that had no atmosphere." Giles coughed softly and rubbed his brow.

"Giles you might have to remember this is Sunnydale, charmless and boxy are sorta the norm." Buffy gave him a reassuring smile.

"My old apartment wasn't a box." He defended.

"Hey we could call that building Xander used to live in, they have nice apartments." Buffy tried to offer something.

"Modern boxes." He grumbled.

"Maybe we'll get lucky and the next one will be a triangle." Buffy huffed as she pulled open the passenger door. "Besides that we have bigger problems, you never asked me about patrol."

"I'm sorry Buffy." Giles asked for forgiveness for his oversight quite genuinely. "What happened on patrol?"

"I met up with 'The Brothers of Pain'." She did her best version of an announcer's voice. "Who for a vampire gang were really well dressed with the Gucci and the smart shoes and these great diamond cuff links."

"Diamond cufflinks." He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm pretty sure real diamond I have an eye for that sorta thing you know." Buffy picked up her big gulp from the cup holder. "I dusted one but the other did a run away and I lost him."

"The 'Brothers of Pain' you say?" He leaned slightly on he steering wheel turning to look at the Slayer.

"Yep, the dead undead one mentioned something about bringing pretty girls back to his Uncle." Buffy sipped her drink. "They were roughing up this new vamp for money, something about having to pay to feed."

"I have to admit nothing is sounding familiar, could it be that Sunnydale has adopted a new series of rules in my absence?" The Watcher questioned.

"New to me too." Buffy shook her head. "I guess tonight I'm going to have to see what's going on."

"Perhaps you shouldn't be patrolling alone Buffy." The Watcher suggested running his hands over the leather of the steering wheel.

"Giles you just got back, you don't have to dive into patrol again." The Slayer shook her head.

"I've only ever believed in the softly, softly approach with one of the group and that didn't exactly work did it." Giles looked down guiltily. "I don't want you working alone Buffy, we're a team."

"It wasn't your fault." Buffy shook her head. "We all both did and didn't do stuff we should have when it came to Wills and the magic."

"Buffy please!" Giles shook his head. "I didn't do enough for her. I let everyone down."

"We all feel like that." Buffy admitted sadly. "And I think the only thing we can do is make sure we never have to feel like this again."

"You don't understand Buffy." Giles shook his head with more force as if trying to dislodge something in his thoughts. Buffy managed to keep her mouth shut by sipping on her drink as she waited hoping he would explain it to her. "What Madalene said yesterday was right." The watcher sighed heavily. "And it is worse than that."

Buffy's eyes went wide as she now found herself without words to come back at him with.

"I knew." He whispered the admission.

"You knew what?" Buffy felt her body go tense as she stared at him. Her mind tried to recall what exactly it had been that the spellcaster had said yesterday but the words were foggy as mostly the Slayer had been focused on the aggression and it's effect on Tara. "You knew it would do this to her?"

"I knew that if it worked, if it didn't destroy her that there would be…" He paused. "Problems."

"Giles, what did you do?" Buffy's voice was an accusatory hiss as she turned to stare at him more. "Wait!" She put up a hand to stop him from answering. "I know why you did it, I know..." She took a tight breath. "We've been fighting to make her better for months and you knew this was the problem? Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because." The Watcher looked up and looked at the Slayer his eyes filled with pain. "I didn't want to tell you until I found an answer."

"Giles, I have spent every day pumping her full of medication, making her sleep, making her eat and now you tell me none of it was necessary? That it's the magic making her like this?" Buffy whispered as every moment flashed back to eat away at her.

"No, Buffy she needed the medication, the magic loss wasn't all of the problem." Giles tried to make her understand.

"How do we know that?" Buffy turned to him desperately wanting an answer that told her all of her actions had been the best necessary thing.

"We know that because of how she ate last night at dinner, how she sleeps soundly in Tara's arms. The trauma of losing Tara caused those symptoms." Giles clarified all that had been gained.

"Then why isn't she getting better?" Buffy turned away as her eyes filled with unwanted tears.

"Better? Buffy, Tara has been back just a few days, and she's eating, sleeping, and interacting on a level that is almost unbelievable." The Watcher's voice was full of praise.

"But I want my Willow back." Buffy screamed as the tears broke free and she pounded her hand into the dashboard. "I WANT MY WILLOW BACK!" She turned to Giles. "I want my little hacker redhead who always knows how to make me feel better and gives me answers, and snuggles up with her girlfriend who I didn't let die and makes Dawn feel better. I want my Willow who laughs at Xander's stupid jokes and is jealous cause people thinks she's my sidekick." Buffy frowned and turned towards the window.

For a long moment Giles sat silently in his place as the emotion swirled around them.

"I'm researching I promise you Buffy." He vowed looking down.

"I know you are... I just want her back." She took a few hard breaths trying to clear her mind.

"We got Tara back." He put in the most important thing as he saw it.

"Giles, we did nothing." Buffy looked back at him shaking her head. "If it wasn't for Madalene Tara would have woken up in her coffin, too weak to even crawl out." Her body shook as she relieved her own memories. "I know you don't like her, I know she insulted you but I think you have to talk to Madalene."

"I think I am old enough to over come a little spoiled pride." Giles gave a tight-lipped smile.

Willow blinked and realized that she hadn't been watching television for a very long time and had instead been staring at Tara. A soft smile crossed her face as she realized it was an okay thing to do, she was allowed after all this was the woman she loved and though she didn't understand what was going on she did know that there was nothing to worry about. This was how it was supposed to be… her Tara was back.

"I want to show you something." She whispered to Tara as the idea took her suddenly.

"Mmmm sorry?" Tara blinked her eyes into focus and turned from the book in her lap.

"I want to show you something." Willow informed her again putting her hand over the book that the blonde was reading.

"Of course anything." Tara quickly closed the book giving the redhead her full attention.

"I have to get it." She nodded happy that Tara wanted to see.

"Okay, do you want me to come with?" Tara offered softly.

Standing up Willow moved into the dining room and carefully picked up one of the chairs moving back into the living room she brought it over by the large weapons cabinet that was disguised as a china hutch.

"It's only up there." Willow began to get up on the chair. "Buffy hides it, she thinks I don't know." She moved up on her tiptoes reaching over the top edge of the cabinet, her hand searching for something. "I hope she didn't move it." She frowned and then stopped as her hand hit the soft leather cover. "She's not very sneaky." She reached precariously over a bit more and soon managed to wedge the long book from its hiding place.

"Be careful sweetie." Tara called softly.

"I'm being careful." Willow nodded her words more to underline that she was thinking about the obvious pain that would follow if she feel off the chair. "All done." She climbed down to the carpet again and padded over clutching the book. "Do you remember?" She held it up for Tara to see.

"I think..." Tara hesitated as if not wanting to be wrong, "It's our photo album." She whispered as the idea cleared.

"I knew you'd remember." The redhead grinned so broadly it almost hurt. Quickly she sat down again and rested it in her lap. "And the pictures will help you remember even more."

"Could we take a look?" Tara moved a little closer.

"Usually it made me sad but now you're here." Willow carefully opened the cover the first page filled with various ticket stubs. "Those are all the movies we've ever gone too."

"Who draws the squiggles?" Tara reached out and ran her finger over one of the many decorated ticket stubs.

"You do." Willow leaned into the blonde a little. "I did all the measuring for the pattern."

"I'm not good at drawing people." She chuckled as she pointed out two stick girls holding hands with a rainbow-coloured heart drawn over their heads.

"You were just being cute, you can draw really well." Willow explained instantly. "And you started to make it before I knew about it, cause you gave it to me as a present."

"Did I?" Tara moved her head into Willow's shoulder in a slight snuggling motion. "Oh wait you did this one." She pointed to a ticket stub with coloured lines all around it changing colour into the centre.

"You were all upset cause I'd ended up with the movie stubs and didn't know you were collecting them but I still had them so I decorated them and added them to surprise you." Willow filled in smiling.

"Perfect." Tara snuggled a little more. "Next page." She encouraged.

"Next page is..." Willow turned the page slowly and on the backside was a series of photo booth pictures obviously taken on various trips to the mall.

Each strip seemed almost to show a progression in their relationship.

The first had them sitting side by side smiling and making faces for the camera. The second had them snuggled together more, though still with much smiling. The third mostly had them looking at each other, with Willow on Tara's knee and by the last frame they were enjoying a soft kiss.

"You were worried that Mall security was going to kick us out." Willow giggled and pointed to the kissing picture.

"I bet I was. Though we're being good." Tara tapped the photo looking at it carefully.

"We were." Willow nodded with a soft blush.

"Oh I like that top, I-I-I-I mean I liked … didn't I… that top." Tara pointing to the pale yellow top visible in the final strip of photographs.

"You do... you did." Willow corrected then her face went puzzled. "I have it upstairs so you might still."

"I will, it's all slinky, I remember." Tara grinned blushing.

"Just like I love you in this top." Willow pointed to the opposite page that held a series of three photos. "I was trying to be artistic." She giggled a little at the way the blonde was positioned next to a large maple tree with the wind blowing her hair backwards.

"Well it's a pretty tree." Tara laughed softly.

"I'm a scientist you're the artist." Willow grinned and turned the page. "Oh, oh my favourite." She pointed to the fairly large photograph of Giles posing in his magic warlock costume and Tara laughed louder.

"And where are we? Hiding behind his cloak?" Tara asked still chuckling.

"See the army boot there?" Willow pointed down by the edge of a bookcase. "And the bit of red here between the dragon and the globe?" She moved her finger up to a point higher on the shelves.

"Mmmm." Tara moved from her snuggled place and examined the photograph closer.

"We were stealing smoochies behind the bookcase." Willow reached behind to cup her arm behind the blonde. "Its the first ever picture of us kissing." She grinned. "Well not taken by us in private."

"No!" Tara looked momentarily shocked but then moved back into her place. "That is no did we really sneak kisses like that?"

"All the time." Willow nodded.

"And how many of them have been captured on film?" She questioned softly.

"Secret smoochies?" The redhead questioned flipping momentarily a few pages ahead. "A few." She pointed to another photograph that from appearances was taken right almost where they were sitting except for in the background near the staircase was the two of them in lip lock while Buffy and Xander poised for the camera with Christmas presents.

"Why am I glad Xander is looking at the camera?" She asked as she moved her arm carefully between the book and Willow's tummy to hug the redhead's small body.

"Cause he likes us dating a little more than we think is healthy." Willow laughed and naturally hugged Tara a little closer. "Of course he did take this one, so we forgive him." She flipped back a bit to a slightly grainy photo in which the two girls floated above the floor at the bronze.

"Oh my, that's us." Tara's voice was soft with surprise.

"Do you remember what night it was?" Willow leaned her head down a bit inhaling the sweet scent of long blonde hair.

"No, at least not clearly." Tara admitted though the more she looked at it flashes of memory came to her.

"It was your birthday." Willow filled in softly her hand rubbing over Tara's side.

"Broomstick." Tara looked up. "Dawnie bought me a broomstick."

"She did." Willow squeezed tighter.

"It looks like I have lots to remember. You looked so beautiful that night." The blonde admired with a dreamy voice.

"Not half as beautiful as you did. Your hair was all sparkly and you were all smiling and happy." Willow whispered in a dreamy voice of her own.

"I bet you had made me happy." Tara whispered back lightly squeezing Willow's waist.

"Just like you had made me happy." Willow nodded softly catching blue eyes as Tara turned to look at her.

"How old was I then?" Tara asked gazing into green.

"You'd just turned twenty." Willow gave her the information without even having to think about it.

"And how old am I now?" She asked softer.

"Twenty two this November." Willow's answer was a little distracted as she looked into blue eyes.

"And you're only twenty one aren't you?" Tara blinked but not enough to break their eye contact. Willow nodded enough to make red curls bounce slightly around her head. "I love you." She mouthed silently.

"I love you too." Willow mouthed back.

Willow felt all the crazy melee of her brain slow down to a manageable hum as she looked over the warm cherry lips before her and without really thinking about anything other than the words she'd just soundless heard she moved forward and pressed her own lips to Tara's. Tara pressed back letting her blue suddenly heavy eyes close.

"I love you." Willow had moved her lips back just the slimmest margins as she opened her eyes to whisper the words, confirming to her jagged mine that all she was feeling was real. Tara was here, kissing her, beside her, with her... most of all alive. She pressed her lips back again with a gentle urgency as she realized that the separation was unwanted.

Tara couldn't help but press back harder into the kiss drawing a deep breath in through her nose as the hand on Willow's waist tightened and flexed a little. There was something so real about this. Every element within her remembered this. Remembered the taste of Willow's lips on hers, remembered how perfectly they fitted together this way. With Willow being the strong, more dominant one but in that soft gently assuring way, a way that offered tenderness and safety as well as so much more.

Gently the blonde pulled back wanting to soak in the moment. Willow stayed where she was dreamily for a moment before she opened her eyes.

"Hi." She whispered with a silly grin plastered on her face.

"Hi." Tara's smile matched the redheads almost perfectly. "We should have a photograph, now?" She said suddenly. "Dawnie's in isn't she? She could take it."

"That would be nice." Willow nodded softly.

"Do you want me to go find her?" The blonde looked towards the stairs.

"Not if you have to move." The redhead admitted leaning in to kiss Tara's cheek.

"Mmmmm moving isn't something I was looking forward to either." Tara snuggled a little closer.

"Pictures later." Willow agreed moving her other arm around Tara's body to completely embrace her. "Smoochies now." She whispered pressing her lips to Tara's again.

Tara wasn't sure exactly how or when she had shifted to more or less rest on Willow's lap. Her long legs were draped over the redhead to stretch out onto the far couch cushion one side of Willow's body, where as most of her weight was born on her arms that leaned back on the other couch cushion the other side of the redhead. Their lips, on the other hand, kept finding each other in small delicate movements.

In an almost automatic movement one of Willow's hand traced up and down Tara's shin. Tara moved her head slightly and nestled into Willow's neck and shoulder.

"So you ready to stop the smoochies yet?" She asked softly.

"If you want to." Willow squeezed her hand around Tara's calf slightly as she hugged the blonde to her body with the other.

"Well actually I was kinda comfy." Tara smiled wondering silently is falling in love with Willow and being with her had felt this magical or this right the first time. She guessed it had, in fact she knew it had.

"You always did love long smoochies." Willow whispered pressing her warm lips to Tara's forehead.

"Did I? And what did you love?" She asked more than interested.

"I loved being with you, holding you, being so lucky to love you." Willow whispered kissing her lover's forehead again.

"I think we were both lucky to have each other." Tara kissed Willow's lips sweetly.

"Everything is so right again when we're together." Willow whispered before kissing the blonde again.

"Even with the little holes?" Tara asked tenderly.

"They go far away when I touch you." The redhead's voice was barely audible though her eyes were clear. "I know they are still there but I can ignore them for awhile."

"I wish..." Tara moved one hand and traced lightly around Willow's temple. "I wish I could make them go away completely."

"Maybe I deserve them." Willow whispered dimming a little.

"Stop that thought right now Willow Rosenberg Maclay." Tara rested her fingertip on the redhead's lips.

"Yes Miss. Maclay Rosenberg." Willow smiled softly and kissed Tara's finger.

"Better." Tara rewarded Willow with a beaming smile and dabbed the end of the redhead's nose.

"I love you." Willow underlined again as she moved her lips closer again.

"As much as I love you?" Tara posed the question bring her lips closer too.

"Even more." Willow vowed as she pushed closer to mesh their lips together.

Tara moaned softly as she kissed the redhead back shifting her hand down to the couch cushion to keep her weight off her petite girlfriend. Willow almost swallowed the moan as for the first time their kiss was more than light butterfly touches. Feeling the blonde shift her weight away she purposely hugged her tighter trying to tell her it was okay to lean. Tara nearly let her arm bend and drop closer to the redhead but she didn't out of worry, though she did kiss her girlfriend a little deeper.

"Hey guys you won't believe how prissy Giles is about finding a new place to live." Buffy came into the front door having seen the television on through the front bay window. "I mean aren't apartments supposed to be..." The Slayer stopped in the doorway and her jaw dropped open. "Boxes."

"Oh… Buffy." Tara pulled her head back slightly but didn't actually move.

"Buffy's home." Willow giggled as she looked up to see the Slayer's shocked and embarrassed facial expression.

"Yeah, home... Giles... didn't find... all too much like... boxes... you guys... sorry." Buffy tried to put a sentence together as she moved to sling her purse on a hook by the door.

"There's no need for sorry here, at least I don't think?" Tara looked at Willow to check.

"No sorries." Willow shook her head and snuggled into Tara's body.

"So Mr. Giles, didn't find anywhere?" Tara looked sympathetic.

"No, he's too particular. I think living in England made him forget Sunnydale has no history." Buffy relaxed a little as she leaned against the doorframe. "Did you guys have lunch and meds?" She checked not wanting to be pushing but knowing she had to keep tabs.

"Willow had two rounds of delicious cheese and ham sandwiches." Tara beamed at the redhead proudly.

"And all my pills." The redhead nodded. "Full tummy."

"Though I bet you weren't anywhere near as good." Tara looked at the Slayer.

"Hey I had a big gulp." Buffy defended sheepishly.

"Why don't I go and fix you a sandwich too?" Tara offered.

"She makes super yummy sandwiches." Willow nodded her agreement.

"No, I can grab something you two were busy. My bad." Buffy pointed towards the kitchen.

"No really, then I can show off my new get to the kitchen skills." Tara explained enthusiastically.

"Skills are important." Buffy smiled and moved into the living room.

"Is that a yes?" Tara glanced between Willow and Buffy.

"Please baby. She needs slaying power." Willow nodded again and kissed the blonde's cheek lightly before beginning to detangle herself. The procedure took a few moments but soon the blonde was on her feet and moving towards the kitchen with only minimum use of the furniture.

"See she's doing fantastic." Willow clapped her happiness as Tara made it to the kitchen.

"She is Will, she really is." Buffy watched the Wicca leave and then turned to her best friend.

"So no box for Giles?" Willow blinked questioning gently.

"No." Buffy shook her head. "He'll find one and fill it with old English stuff before we know it though. You okay that he's back?" She realised it might be too big a question but she thought it was worth broaching.

"He doesn't seem as mad at me now." Willow curled her thin legs up and pushed to sit further into the cushions of the couch.

"He's not mad at you Will." Buffy confirmed. "All he ever really was, was worried about you."

"He was." Willow turned away picking at the pile on the couch fabric. "Cause I'm bad."

"Did I hear the B word?" Tara's voice called from the kitchen as her head appeared in the doorway, her blue eyes light as she looked towards the couch.

"Sorry." Willow glanced up and bit her lip. Tara nodded and turned, disappearing again.

"She doesn't like it when I say I'm the B word." Willow turned to the Slayer.

"I get that and she's right Will, to catch you up on it." Buffy backed up Tara softly.

"It's what Giles thinks." Willow looked back at her hands.

"Its not." Buffy shook her head. "None of us think that."

"Don't you?" Willow questioned with an honest innocence.

"No." Buffy swung round to face Willow completely. "I'm sorry that you ever thought I did. So you got the photo album out?" She changed the topic quickly and nodded to the album. The last thing she wanted to do was overload Willow's good mood with talk of the past.

"Yes, it was helping Tara remember." Willow's face changed as her mind moved away from the horrible memories. "And then..." She giggled. "Well you came in."

"Oh I see so photographs lead to smoochies? This I need to remember for future relationships in Buffy's life." She grinned.

"Nice photos of pretty shirts lead to smoochies." Willow smiled to underline that the fact would be helpful.

"Nice smoochies?" Buffy loved seeing Willow smile.

"Very nice smoochies." Willow's body uncurled a bit more.

"Am I pushing for too many details here?" Buffy checked but she was grinning madly. There was just something so contagious about the lighter mood that the redhead was in.

"Just smoochies." Willow shook her head. "Nice smoochies."

"There looked like nice touches too." The Slayer commented innocently.

"Yes." The redhead blushed a little.

"Well you know I have to keep up to date on my favourite reunited couple of the moment." Buffy loved the blush in her best friend's cheeks, she couldn't really remember the last time she'd seen it there and at this moment it seemed like such a priceless treasure.

"I have my Tara back." Willow restated softly to show it was the one thing needed more than anything.

"You do." Buffy nodded. "I was wondering…" She looked at Willow overwhelmed when green eyes held hers. "Do you want me to take Xander and Dawnie out one night real soon?"

"Take them out for what?" Willow blinked and looked at her a little confused.

"For like a long time." Buffy tried to explain.

"Are we not allowed to go too?" She questioned immediately frowning.

"Well of course you are but I was thinking you know with me Dawn and the Xanman not around that just kinda left you and…" She glanced towards the kitchen.

"Buffy!" Willow squealed and put her hands up over her face as the question that the Slayer was poising clearing in her mind. "She just... she's getting better still... and..." She looked through her fingers to the kitchen. "I don't know if she wants too."

"God I'm sorry Will." Buffy blushed a deep crimson. "Well I score a big old high score on the dumb friend scale right now."

"No, you're lovely." Willow giggled and reached out hugging Buffy from the side. "But I don't think we're ready yet." She whispered hugging tightly. "She just got back."

"Oh wow." Buffy breathed quietly as she closed her eyes and her hands naturally came round to hug her best friend. "That is…" Buffy suddenly stammered as she realised she'd said her last thought out loud. "Yeah she is just back oh wow, its cool." She covered badly.

"We'll be okay though, we'll be okay now." Willow nodded as she slowly let go and crawled back to her end of the couch.

"Of course you will." Buffy agreed still trying to recover from her slip as Willow turned her attention to the photo album.

"Mmmm." Buffy looked around as if slightly agitated for a moment. "Is Dawnie in her room?" She asked glancing to the stairs.

"Yes." Willow nodded without looking up. "Doing homework, she had study hall so she came home early."

"I might just go and check on her, before my sandwich appears and I give into food cravings." The Slayer pushed up from her place. "Okay?"

"Okay, do you want a drink?" Willow looked up briefly.

"Yeah great idea." Buffy nodded as she pushed towards the stairs.

She tried to make her exit casual but she knew that by the time she reached the stairs she was running, though she ran past her sister's room and through into her own bedroom more or less launching herself on her neatly made bed. She reached out to grab a rather warn looking stuffed animal and drew it tightly to her chest.

She wanted to laugh and scream out in joy but at the same time she wanted to cry like a baby. Things had just changed so fast, too fast and yet nothing was really solved or over.

"Buffy, how was the apartment..." Dawn had heard the footsteps go by her door and she followed on instinct welcoming the break from her homework. The sight of her sister sprawled out on the bed hugging Mr. Fluffy to her chest for dear life made her very worried. "What's wrong?" She moved in very slowly.

"Nothing." Pushing the soft toy away quickly Buffy tried to shift into a more acceptable 'grown up' position. "No, Giles hated everything." She added wanting to draw the young woman's attention away from herself.

"Buffy I'm not stupid." Dawn moved in closer and sat down on the bed.

"You can tell me, what's wrong? Is the world ending?"

"No, at least I don't think it is." Buffy looked over to her sister shaking her head softly.

"Then what?" Dawn questioned again not understanding the emotions that played on her sister's face.

"She hugged me." Buffy looked down an picked at Mr. Fluffy's ear as she spoke, her voice quiet as if saying it louder might break the magic of the words

"Who hugged you?" Dawn asked the question but then the answer came to her. "Willow?" Her eyes went wide and Buffy looked up meeting brown eyes nodding silently. "On her own? Just spontaneous hug?" She bounced a little.

"Yes. We were just there on the couch chatting mainly about Tara and then she just leaned over and hug." Buffy explained a smile dancing on her lips as she watched Dawn's excitement.

"Willow's back." Dawn bounced more and reached out scuffing Mr. Fluffy's head.

"She is?" Buffy tried to make her words sound like a statement but they still sounded like a question as she watched Dawn hand ruffle short simulated fur

"You don't think?" Dawn stopped short and looked at her sister worried. "Is that why you're upset?"

"I want to think." Buffy tried to find a focus but so many conversations were running through her head the one with Giles, with Willow, the many with Willow over the last few months.

"Oh, I'll..." Dawn looked back to the door. "Homework, I have homework."

"No Dawn." Buffy looked up shaking her head. "That was I want to think that Willow is back, I..." She dropped her head again finding it oddly hard to keep looking into her sister's doe like eyes.

"But you're worried it's like when we first got her home." Dawn whispered not moving off the bed.

"Yeah." Buffy shivered a little at the hard cold memory. "I'm sorry Dawnie." The Slayer said suddenly.

"No, I was thinking about that too but it's different this time." Dawn tried to offer some reason. "She's not all robotic cause its not cause of meds its her, it's her wanting to reach us, reach out and be a real person again."

"But she still has the meds Dawn." Buffy hated thinking of negatives but they sprang so easily to mind.

"I know and maybe when we see the doctor on Tuesday she can cut some of them down." The teenager prompted optimistically. "Oh God Buffy, what are we going to tell the doctor?" Her eyes went wide as her optimism soon faded.

"I don't know." Buffy admitted. "Your big all knowing sister has kinda run out of knowledge on this one, though I've tried to come up with something."

"Could we tell her that we found out Tara wasn't really dead? That she was in the witness protection program?" Dawn said the first and as she realized most stupid, thing that came to mind.

"And the whole dying in Willow's arms we made up for the sake of detail?" Buffy replied quickly but then softened. "Though I had thought of something similar." She tried to make her sister feel better.

"What?" Dawn urged her to continue

"Oh no you don't want to hear, it involved an identical twin sister, it was worse than dire." Buffy shook her head laughing at herself though not with amusement.

"Twin sister?" Dawn couldn't help but giggle and as she did the Slayer felt her mood lightened at the sound. "You know the only thing more dire that than? We could just tell her the truth." The teenager grinned widely.

"Oh yeah and then book her doctor in for a long session of therapy." Buffy grinned.

"Giles could take care of that." Dawn kept grinning. "This is when we need one of those men in black flasher things, we could brainwash her."

"There you go, the solution. We hire Will Smith to tell her. Its all good." Buffy laughed this time genuinely.

"We find a way." Dawn nodded seriously. "I mean Tara came back, Madalene convinced Maladic she was Willow... the rest has got to be easier."

Buffy didn't have the heart to share with her sister her inner fear that that indeed what they had gone through so far had been the easy part.

Xander reached up and rubbed his hand through his hair before he pushed open the door to the magic box, knowing the slight tinkle of the bell above would announce him.

Anya looked up instantly almost frightened at the sound of the bell. A noise that usually brought her joy as the chance of a sale presented itself but now filled her with worry and dread.

"Just me." Xander put up his hands when he saw her face.

"But what are you doing here?" The vengeance demon looked at her watch and then at the young man.

"I was able to finish up the dry walling early so I came by to see how you were doing." Xander wandered over to the counter. "You seemed nervous last night I thought maybe a little company might help."

"How I'm doing? I'm doing terribly, how do you think I am doing? Stores are being looted daily and there's just me all alone in this shop." Anya blurted out. "I know I could in theory eviscerate them but its still frightening. Damn this fear, I never understood it before being human."

"You're not alone now." Xander tried to soothe her.

"But I was." Anya pointed out though she looked at the young man with a softer glare.

"I know you were, but you got through okay and now I'm here." Xander smiled and sat down on a stool. "Now who or what would be stupid enough to rob you while I'm here?"

"Mmmm him!" Anya pointed out as a homeless guy shuffled passed the store window clutching a bottle wrapped in brown paper bag.

"That's just Freddie, he shuffles past all the time." Xander shook his head. "You know it's okay to be worried."

"No its not, I never used to worry about anything and I thought I would stop now that I'm a demon again but it hasn't. I still worry. I worry that Willow will never be the same, I worry that Glory will come back and make us leave. I worry that Tara will die again or that I'll be alone forever." Anya gripped her hand around a twenty-dollar bill tightly.

"That's a lot of worry for such a pretty girl." Xander admitted knowing that he hadn't done anything to help make her life easier, in fact he'd only made things worse.

"Don't call me that!" Anya burst into tears.

"What?" Xander fell back out of the stool to stand as her sudden tears startled him. "It's true, you're pretty and you're a girl and that's a lot of worry."

"I am not I'm a demon and this shouldn't be happening." Anya sobbed and disappeared down behind the counter.

"An?" Xander watched her duck down and waited for her to reappear. After a few moments when she didn't he moved around under the break in the counter and bent down close to her. "You're not a demon, I mean well you are but you're still you."

"But I shouldn't be, the me I was she was useless and the me I am now is too. I was a bad human being and now I'm a bad demon." She continued sobbing.

"You're not a bad anything." Xander shook his head shifting to rest his hand on her back. "You're a great woman and a great demon, you're super great at both."

"Then why did you leave me?" She looked up and snarled at him.

"Cause I'm a scared idiot..." He paused having been trying to prepare himself for this question every night. "And cause I never wanted to hurt you, not long term."

"But you are hurting me." Anya scowled. "You, being here, being nice to me that hurts."

"Oh." Xander pulled his hand back frowning. "Should I go?"

"No, oh I don't know." Anya frowned hard as she tried to figure out what she did want. "It hurts to have you here because I have these feelings." She stopped crying. "But you make me feel safer at the same time."

"I know I hurt you Anya, I just... I couldn't get married to you with all this worry that what I was doing was going to ruin your life. I want you to be happy and safe, you deserve that." He tried to explain more.

"Well I guess being a demon I'm super safe." She bit sarcastically.

"Anya, being a demon doesn't mean that you're safe from your own worries." Xander shook his head.

"Why are you being nice to me?" Anya said suddenly questioning his motives.

"Do I have to have a reason?" Xander questioned sitting back against the wood of the counter.

"It would be nice yes. Reasons are good." She pushed him.

"Because you looked so worried last night, afraid... and I don't like seeing you like that." Xander ran his hand through his hair again. "I wanted to make you feel better."

For a long moment the vengeance demon looked at Xander, trying to figure out just what she wanted to do.

"There's some garbage that needs taking out." She pointed to a pile of boxes round the back of the bookshelves as she decided.

"Hey I can do that." Xander perked up with a slight smile.

"And then you can look at that bookshelf, it leans and the orbs keep almost falling off." Anya pointed absently towards a shelf.

"Carpentry, my speciality." He grinned more.

"And then…" Anya paused pushing up to stand. "Well I'll think of something."

"You think I'll deal with the trash." He hopped up and headed towards the boxes.

"Are you sure Buffy?" Tara asked as Dawn skipped through grinning broadly holding up Tara's summer weight jacket. The Wicca glanced at the teenager as she held an arm out on automatic for Dawn to slip the coat on.

"Yeah, go on." Buffy leaned against the railing and smiled. "I'll go on patrol later when you guys get back."

"See." Dawn looped her arm through Tara's and pulling her lightly to the door.

"We won't be long." Tara assured the Slayer as she smiled and moved with the teenager.

"No worries, remember we need chocolate!" Buffy encouraged as closed the door.

"She means she needs chocolate." Dawn laughed as they moved down the walk.

"I remember chocolate." Tara grinned as she enjoyed the feeling of being outside and mobile. "Its something that it's okay to need." She was a lot steadier on her feet but she was slightly tired and therefore glad that Dawn had her arm.

"Oh yeah." Dawn nodded enthusiastically.

"So, I was thinking something…" Tara began as the made their way down the street. Dawn waited for her to continue holding tightly to Tara's arm. "Do you think people would think I was crazy if I suggested something?" When Tara had thought about this earlier it had seemed like a good idea but now she was feeling less confident.

"Crazy? You?" Dawn shook her head. "No way." Tara chuckled softly loving how quietly biased Dawn was.

"I was thinking of suggesting we had a photograph done. You know of the gang." She glanced at the teenager.

"So not crazy, great idea." Dawn squeezed the arm in her own a little. "I don't think we've had a photo since..." She tried to think. "I don't think we ever had a photo."

"Earlier Willow and I were looking at some photos and I thought, it would be nice now that we're together again." Tara explained her reasoning a little more.

"We could buy one of those cameras at the store, just to get some right away. Then we could go to the mall and see one of those studio photographers." Dawn mused as they turned a corner.

"I hadn't thought of a studio." Tara admitted charmed by Dawn's enthusiasm. "But that sounds like such a good idea, but we should so get a camera."

"I'm full of them." Dawn grinned. "So you and Willow looked at the album of love?" She pushed slightly for details.

"We did, we didn't get very far, page three I think." Tara chuckled remembering the soft feel of lips on her own. "Then we got em, distracted."

"Distracted?" Dawn's eyes lit up.

"You know what I mean." Tara chastised the teenager lightly but her eyes were bright and smiling.

"But it's more fun and there is much more smiling and blushing if you tell me." Dawn giggled.

"You know sometimes I wonder where you got your mischievous streak?" Tara squeezed Dawn lightly.

"Oh you know, now stop stalling and spill." Dawn gave her a serious look.

"There was kissing." Tara blushed hard and fast as she looked down.

"Kissing." Dawn leaned closer. "Good kissing?"

"Dawn!" Tara looked up at the teenager. "Yes." She added in a whisper.

"What? My favourite couple are with the smoochies again. Do you have any idea how happy this makes me?" Dawn looked at the blonde smiling. "Warren messed it up last time, I was expecting years and years of smoochies and a wedding where I got to be in a much better dress than I was at the wedding that never happened."

"You thought Willow and I would get married?" Tara checked a little surprised by the teenager's comment.

"For sure." Dawn nodded enthusiastically. "I mean it's not like Buffy's ever going to have a boyfriend long enough, you guys were my great hope of a storybook ending."

"I was going to ask if Buffy had a partner." Tara was happy that unwittingly Dawn had answered one of her unasked questions.

"Trust me Buffy's less than stellar romantic history is something you'd be better off forgetting." Dawn frowned slightly. "She hasn't been with anyone since Spike which is a good thing I think."

"She will find someone I am sure, it must be hard with…" Tara paused. "You know."

"Being the slayer?" Dawn made sure they had the same point of reference.

"Yes." Tara smiled at the ease with which Buffy's little sister came out with it.

"Yeah I guess. If she hadn't of been such a dork with Riley she'd probably be with him now." The teenager explained. "But then again he was sorta boring, I think she needs someone who challenges her, don't you think?"

"I would have thought so." Tara nodded feeling so relaxed as they walked and Dawn talked.

"She's not as lucky as you and Willow, I hope I find my Willow one day."

Dawn sighed dreamily. "Well I mean I think it'd be a William but you know it's cool."

"Willow or William, there's the right person for you somewhere out there and who ever it ends up being they are going to have to pass the Tara test because you know you're our Dawnie." The Wicca gave a lopsided smile.

Dawn smiled back at her for the longest time before speaking.

"You know I love you right?" She checked softly. "We never used to say it, especially after Mom died but since..." She paused. "It's important to say it."

"It is and I know." Tara assured her quickly. "I more than know." She stressed lovingly.

"Good." Dawn hugged the blonde's arm.

"And Dawn…" Tara didn't look at her companion but focused on looking up towards the stores. "You know I don't remember everything but I do remember how much you mean to me."

"It doesn't matter if you remember the details. The feeling, that we're family that's the most important part." Dawn whispered swallowing hard as she felt her heart beating up into her throat. It was all really real, Tara was back and she knew that no matter what they faced it would be okay now.

"Oh, Dawn look, swings." Tara pointed suddenly across the street. "Are you too big for swings?" She glanced at the youngest Summers.

"Are you crazy?" Dawn laughed. "I love swings."

"Can we have a detour?"

"Yep." Dawn looked both ways to check the road was clear before leading Tara across.

The first thing that Willow became aware of was breathing. Thick hard breaths that echoed in her ears like a torrent of wind tearing away all the other sounds. She felt weak and drained, the feeling multiplying as she struggled to open her eyes and push herself forward in an attempt to get away from the noise.

The dark night gripped everything around her so tightly that she couldn't tell where she was. The smells around her were musty and wet, as if there'd been a hard rainfall which had swept away all but the smell of rotting. Staggering forward her foot caught on something and she pitched in the darkness coming to a stop only as her arms hugged around a tall circular object. Pushing herself back a sliver of dim moonlight in the canopy above made her realise she was in the woods and holding herself up against a large tree.

'I have to...' Willow's mind shuddered as the damp wind whistled through her dry body but as she tried to narrow down her thoughts they were filled with something else.

"Xander, calm down." Giles voice came through crisp and clear. "We just need to get our bearings, I think we slowed her."

"Giles?" Willow looked up and out into the dark shadows somehow knowing exactly where the Watcher was. "Giles, help me." She pushed off into the bush towards him.

"Slowed her?" Xander's voice hissed in a low whisper. "Just how do you slow the human version of a homing missile. Emphasis on the Missile." He added scared.

"Xander? Xander help me." Willow fought against the branches that seemed to web around her as she pushed through towards his voice. Trying to swallow down the thick fear in her body she began running. "XANDER!" She screamed as the hard breathing in her ears got louder and she just knew whatever it was that was out there was bearing down on her.

"Giles... Giles do you hear something." A new level of fear entered the carpenter's whisper.

"GILES!" Willow screamed again as she felt heat rise around her in billows. "Where are you?" She called to them as she reached a dark clearing and stumbled into it.

"Something's here." Giles' voice was an icy whisper as he raised the large axe he carried up trying to be ready. Xander moved to stand at Giles back but facing the opposite way his dark eyes darting around.

"But you said, you said she couldn't find us." He hissed as beads of fearful sweat tricked down his cheeks.

"I said I thought she couldn't find us." Giles' cursed lightly at him. "I also said we should never get lost in the woods at night." He looked out into the inky darkness. "Which we managed to do."

"If Tara were here we'd be okay, she could do this Tinkerbell thing." Xander offered desperately.

"I think if Tara were here we wouldn't be in this situation at all." Giles replied sadly.

"It's coming, you have to run." Willow felt heat grabbing at her and the darkness seemed to grow lighter as she passed further into glade and the figures of the two men in the darkness became visible. "RUN!" She screamed as her legs took her headlong past them as if she was pushed from behind.

"What was that?" Giles felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up as a bright flash reflected in the blade of his axe.

"What was what?" Xander looked round quickly. "Gimmie that!" He reached round and tugged the weapon from the Watcher's hand.

"She's here." Giles pulled a book out of the bag he had near his feet. "We have to disperse her power, make her materialise."

"Xander, why can't you see me?" Willow begged him as she was shoved again and she almost was able to reach out and touch him.

"How?" Xander's hand shook as he held the axe. Something flashed in the axe blade again forced him to take a step back.

"Oh Dark One, bow to the power of light, yield to the forces of good." Giles spoke to the darkness in a strong voice.

"The Dark One? Giles, the Dark One has me!" Willow felt herself pushed up to her feet and then hung up in the air by an invisible force that she assumed must be this creature the Watcher was trying to call too. "GILES!" She screamed as her hand lashed out on its own and struck the Watcher across the face driving him back into Xander.

"Giles!" Xander echoed Willow's call and let the axe clatter to the floor as he gathered the Watcher in his arms brushing at the blood that now covering Giles' face.

"Oh no!" Willow felt her skin burning with heat as she rose higher and the breathing in her ears seemed to ease into a deep laugh. "Xander run, please run." She begged him as she felt her body floating downwards towards them again.

"I'm winning!" Tara tipped her head back and pushed hard with her legs straight, her blonde hair fanning out in the wind as she soared upwards on the swing.

"Only cause..." Dawn pushed again as she passed the ground close enough to dig her feet into the sand as she went to get a bit more push off. "I gave you a start."

"You so did not." Tara laughed brightly.

"So did and now I'm catching up!" Dawn squealed as she leaned in and lofted her swing higher.

"It's because you're lighter than me, less gravity." Tara chuckled and pushed a little harder.

"No way." Dawn pushed again leaning way back so that her feet hung in the clouds.

"Yes, way you…." With a wobble in her movement the blonde's voice trailed off. For a second it looked alarmingly like Tara was going to fall from her swing, but her long hands wrapped tighter around the ropes as the seat tipped holding her tight until the movement went smooth again.

"Tara?" Dawn noticed the falter as she hung upside down and immediately pushed up to dig her feet into the ground as she passed by it and within another half swing she had herself stopped. Quickly she moved over and when it was safe ran in behind to take hold of the ropes and eased the blonde's swing to a stop.

"I think you overdid it." She tried to soothe.

"No." Tara shook her head, her blue eyes looked a little glazed. "It's Willow. Dawn, we have to get home." She blinked and reached out to the teenager to help her from her place.

"Willow? How do you know?" The teenager shifted around to offer her arms as leverage.

"Because I can feel, when she's afraid, when she needs me." Tara explained as they got up.

"Wow." Dawn whispered a bit impressed. "I mean you can feel what she's feeling, like you're connected."

"Yes." Tara confirmed.

"That is so cool, I mean... well except for all the Willow's mini freaks which will make you sad but now we can know when there is one and you can help her." Dawn tried to find some silver lining in their dark cloud.

"I wish I could help her Dawn but all I can do is hold her and wait till she finds her own way our of the darkness, in her mind she's alone." Tara pushed as hard as she could to walk fast.

"But if you can feel what she's feeling and know what she's dealing with can't you help guide her out?" Dawn helped the blonde along her mind going a thousand times faster than her legs.

"Dawn." Tara suddenly pulled the teenager to a halt, nearly stumbling as she over balanced. "What did you say?"

"I said it's too bad that since you can feel what she feels and such that you can't like lead her out of the darkness." Dawn tried to recount what she had hastily offered.

"Of course, oh Dawnie. I love you." She hugged the teenager quickly and then forced them back into a hurried pace.

"I love you too." Dawn underlined as they began walking as quick as Tara's legs would carry them. "But exactly why are you so excited now?" She questioned worried.

"Because there has to be a way." Tara's mind raced along as her body did. "Mr. Giles will know of one, he has too."

-x-

The living room couch rocked back on its base to lean against the wall as the weight of the small body that was perched screeching on the cushions took a brief breath before wailing again.

"Will, Willow, listen to me, you gotta calm down." Perched on her haunches just in front of the couch was Buffy desperately trying to figure out a way to get her best friend to calm down. As she watched the couch rocking back and forth she was very afraid that with another scream the redhead was going to pitch herself through the bay window. Unfortunately every time she reached a hand out towards her best friend the redhead slapped it away.

"You have to help them, the woods... in the woods... it made me hurt them... it made me." Willow wailed her hand gripped into the fabric of the couch. "I hurt them."

"It's just a dream Willow." Buffy tried to keep her voice even and calm. "Who ever you think needs me in the woods is fine, you were dreaming." Again the Slayer leaned forward slightly to touch Willow's shoulder.

"You don't know, you don't know." Willow reached up cupping her hand around her head. "You don't believe me. I hurt them... blood everywhere." She snarled before wailing more.

"Who Will, who did you hurt?" Buffy frowned not sure what she was going to do. She needed to get Willow calm and then get her away from the window.

"I killed them... I killed them." Willow held her hands out. "You can hear them screaming, listen you can hear them still screaming."

"Willow I…" Buffy sank back a little on her knees more than lost for what to say. Her loss of words was short lived as the front door swung open.

"Buffy?" Tara gasped out of breath as she leaned against the open door.

"Tara." Buffy looked back at the door and then to Willow. "We had a nightmare."

"I know." Tara assured her as she half-walked half-stumbled into the room. "I need you to get M-M-Mr Giles." She added as she dropped down onto her knees close to where Buffy was sat.

"Giles?" Buffy questioned still in her half-crouched half-leaning position. Tara nodded that it was what she wanted as she focused for a moment trying to even out her breathing.

"I KILLED HIM!" Willow wailed reaching out her sweaty palm to place it on the window. As she pulled her hand down the glass a loud slow squeak filled the room.

"Buffy, get him." Dawn stood in the doorway shaking a little at the sight of the redhead.

"I think he has his cellular." Buffy nodded and moved back towards the phone in the kitchen.

"Willow's favourite colour is Tara eye blue." Tara began softly as she pushed up and reached out her hand placed it on Willow's to stop it from moving. "Tara's favourite colour is…" The blonde paused slightly.

"I killll..." Willow's voice shook as her wild eyes still a little on their hands. "...lllow eyes green." She panted as if she was having trouble breathing suddenly.

"Willow eyes green." Tara repeated Willow's last phrase calmly and evenly, "Willow's favourite food is fresh sassy eggs." She began another sentence as calmly and evenly as before. "Tara's favourite food is..."

"Tara's favourite food is..." Willow's voice shook almost as badly as her hand. "Applesauce."

Gently and carefully Tara drew Willow's hand off the glass and pulled it to rest on her chest close to her heart.

"Willow fed apple sauce." Tara had no real idea why she underlined the subtle difference in their replies.

"I killed them." Willow looked over closing her eyes as she whispered the admission.

"You killed Warren." Tara stated back. "No one else."

"In the woods... I killed Giles and Xander... I..." Willow whispered trying to be honest.

"Willow, have I ever lied to you." Tara asked directly her voice firm. "You had a dream." She stated wanting Willow to hear and see how serious she was.

"I..." Green eyes blinked a bit puzzled for a moment. "A dream?"

"I think I wore you out with kisses." Tara tried gently to pull Willow's mind back to a better place.

"Fully tummy makes me tired." Willow slumped forward a bit her legs catching up under her body on the cushion below.

"I'm sorry I left you sweetie." Tara soothed as she lightly cupped Willow's cheek.

"Where did you go?" Willow blinked again leaning a little into the warmth against her cold skin.

"I went to get you flowers." Tara replied keeping eye contact with the redhead. "But we can go to get some together tomorrow." She slowly moved her thumb across Willow's cheek.

"Flowers are pretty." Willow nodded her body slumping a bit more as her strength burned out. Carefully Tara sat on the couch and gathered Willow to her.

"They are. I love you baby." Tara kissed Willow's slightly damp hair.

"I feel sick." The redhead's voice was thick as she leaned against Tara's body.

"Do we need to move?" Tara asked lovingly.

"I need you." Willow shook her head.

"Giles should be here in about fifteen minutes." Buffy came back out breathing a sigh of relief when she saw the couple's position.

"It's ok, you got me." Tara lightly rubbed the redhead's back. She put her head up and smiled her thanks to the Slayer.

"I'll get a bucket, she sometimes..." Dawn looked to her sister. "If she's eaten and then." She went on explaining a bit and darted off as soon as Buffy nodded.

"I'm sorry Buffy." Tara apologised as she continuously rubbed Willow's back lightly, she hummed softly when she wasn't speaking knowing that with the way the redhead was tucked to her body the soft noise would resonate in Willow's head.

"Sorry?" Buffy questioned softly stepping closer. "Tara this isn't your fault, she has nightmares and she's had them since... well for along time." The Slayer couldn't bear to say since you left her to deal with her addiction.

"But I should have stayed with her." Tara pointed out her mistake.

"You can't be with her 24/7, none of us can." Buffy shook her head.

"If it's what it takes, then yes I can." Tara disagreed firmly.

"Do you want to take her upstairs?" Buffy questioned not wanting to get into this discussion right now.

"Should we move her?" Tara looked to Buffy's experience on the matter.

"She'll be limp for a bit, we can get her up to bed and give her a sedative to help with the spasms." Buffy nodded and moved closer. "I can carry her."

"Thank you." Tara eased her hand off Willow's back, beginning to draw away from the redhead as Buffy drew closer.

"Slayer strength comes in handy." Buffy easily shifted Willow's weight into her arms and hoisted her up. "Do you need help to get upstairs?"

"No, I'll be up in a moment. I just need to catch my breath." Tara watched with her eyes as Buffy carried her girlfriend away.

"Okay, I'll get Dawn to get her medication." Buffy nodded and took the stairs carefully with the limp redhead in her arms.

Buffy moved down the stairs slowly trying to take some deep breaths to calm herself before she faced Tara in the living room.

"Well she's settled, I though maybe you might need a drink?" She questioned the blonde and turned towards the couch to find it empty. "Tara?" She questioned her eyes wide. She held back her moment of panic for a moment waiting to see if the blonde called back to her.

'Okay Buffy don't panic, she couldn't have got that far.' She moved quickly in a loop through the dining room to the kitchen. "Tara?" She questioned as she moved to the back door and looked out the window. It was only as she got close to it that she could see the door was slightly ajar. Reaching up to the top of the fridge she grabbed a stake and moved outside.

"Tara?" She questioned realising that the sun was low enough in the sky that anything could be a problem right now.

"When you were a child…" Tara's voice came from the side, and the blonde was kneeled her hand cupped round a yellow rose. Buffy lowered her stake and moved over closer to her. "Did your mother tell you that nightmares couldn't hurt you." Her thumb rubbed over a pale yellow petal.

"Right up until I had my first prophetic dream." Buffy nodded moving down next to her on the grass.

"What did she say then?" Tara didn't turn.

"She said that Giles would figure it out and she made me warm milk." Buffy smiled sadly as she remembered that night so long ago.

"I wonder if my mother told me it that too." Tara slipped her fingers down the stem and in a simple move twisted the bloom free.

"I'm willing to bet she did, you always speak of her with such faith and admiration." Buffy watched her snap the bloom free.

"If I did then I hope she didn't because that means she would have lied to me." Tara turned her head to look up at the bedroom window and as she did so a hard shiver ran down her spine.

"Dr. Clabet believes the nightmares are a manifestation of her psychosis." Buffy offered not looking up as she dropped sideways to lean on the grass. "I know the doctor thinks all the monster and vampires are just symbols, but I think it's more just her brain using what it has as memories to haunt her."

"The doctor believes its a psychosis, you think its her life and her memory using things to haunt her, Madalene believes they're a result of the imbalance in her spirit and Willow believes they're a punishment for all the horrible things that she did." Tara summed up sadly.

"Madalene is right." Buffy could barely whisper the words of Giles' admission.

"She might be." Tara nodded as she looked away from the window. "All of you might be to a degree but I don't care." She shook her head and lifted the pale yellow rose to her nose and sniffed it lightly.

"No." Buffy took a deep breath. "Giles knows she's right."

"You misunderstand me Buffy." Tara turned gently to look at the Slayer. "I don't care what is causing them, I want them to stop."

"But if we understand what the cause is then we can fix it." Buffy looked up. "We will fix it."

"You said Mr. Giles knows what's causing it." Tara looked back at the Slayer. "If that's true, why hasn't he stopped it?"

"Cause... because he's not completely sure what it is and because he's felt so horrible for letting Willow down." Buffy hung her head a little.

"Because he can't?" Tara rephrased Buffy's answer.

"I don't know." Buffy looked up slowly into sad blue eyes. "I told him he needed to talk to Madalene, she seems to know so much more than any of us."

"I don't know how you did it." Tara admitting holding Buffy's eyes.

"How I did what?" Buffy questioned confused.

"Three months." Tara whispered glancing up to the window again.

"Tara, I wish I could say it was all about being big brave me in the beginning. I wish I could tell you that right from the first day I signed up for this..." She hung her head again. "But..."

"But?" Tara pushed softly.

"When we found her and Xander, we tried to take her home but..." Buffy swallowed hard. "We had to put her in the hospital, I let them take her."

"You had to do what you had to do." Tara said gently but the look in her eyes showed her anguish for her lover and sadness for her best friend.

"No matter what I say you'll forgive me won't you?" Buffy questioned blinking her hot eyes.

"Buffy I may not remember things but I can see in your eyes, feel in your heart that you love Willow though differently but as much as I do, you can tell me anything and there will never be need for forgiveness." Tara whispered.

"She screamed for me not to leave her." Buffy's voice cracked as she tightened her hand around her stake. "She screamed as they dragged her down the hallway and I just stood there while everyone told me it was the right thing but I knew, I knew it wasn't."

"Forgive yourself Buffy." Tara pushed up and moved over to the Slayer, not even stopping to question her action as she closed her arms around the slightly shaking woman.

"I can't." Buffy felt the tears slip out of her eyes without her permission.

"I could have stopped all of it."

"You can Buffy, you have to." Tara held on tighter to the Slayer. "You have to just like Willow has to, we all have to." Tara felt her own tears spill onto her cheeks.

"I should have stopped him... I should have made her stop the magic." Buffy shivered and sobbed more.

"Can you make the rain stop falling, or the world stop turning?" Tara asked introducing a slight comforting rock as she held on tightly

"I've made sure the world has kept turning, I've saved everyone else why couldn't I save her or you." Buffy didn't know when she'd moved to hug Tara back but now she was grasping onto the blonde desperately.

"Maybe you've not had the chance to yet." Tara replied knowingly. "But I know Buffy that when you get your chance, you won't let either of us down."

"I know you don't remember but when I came back, when Willow resurrected me I was so angry." Buffy whispered almost ashamed of her words. "You were the only one who understood."

"We're family Buffy, it's what we do." Tara pulled back slightly and lightly kissed Buffy's damp cheek.

"We'll make her better... we'll make her the best she can be." Buffy nodded softly. "No matter what it takes, no matter what we have to do."

"I think Mr Giles got here." Tara noted slightly having caught a glimpse of figures moving in the kitchen. "Do you mind if I stay out here a while longer?"

"It's getting dark." Buffy noted a bit worried.

"Then stay with me." Tara smiled her offer.

"Best vampire protection." The Slayer smiled limply holding up her stake.

"Best company." Tara contradicted softly.

Madalene wandered slowly into the kitchen reading as she made her way on autopilot towards the cupboard. After a few hours of meditation and then the sudden worry over Willow's latest nightmare she'd decided that maybe what she and Dawn needed most was some nice herbal tea.

"Oh!" Madalene looked up from her book when she realized someone was already in the kitchen.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." Giles apologised softly pulling his gaze away from the window he glanced quickly at Madalene.

"No, I'm sorry. I was going to get some tea for Dawn and I while we watch Willow." Madalene pointed to the counter.

"How is she?" Giles turned and took two cups placing them along side the one he had already got out.

"Frail. Buffy gave her a sedative, apparently they help calm her." Madalene carefully placed her book on the island.

"I would imagine they would." The Englishman assessed honestly.

"Yes, by design." The spellcaster nodded softly.

"Yes quite." Giles looked down as the kettle flicked off.

"I brought some special mixture herbal with me." She looked to the cupboard. "Dawn told me you enjoyed tea so if you wanted to try it."

"Actually I…" Giles reached for the usual teapot but then stopped. "I would love to." He changed his sentence as Buffy's words earlier that he should at least for some kind of bound with the young spellcaster came back to him

"It's a mixture of chamomile, hops, lemon balm, margoram, motherwort, poppy and valerian root." She offered an explanation.

"So how are you feeling?" Giles made three of the teas before pausing. "Should I make Tara and Buffy one?" He glanced again over his shoulder to the window.

"Buffy hates it." She looked over to the window. "I'm not sure if Tara is in the mood."

"Just the three then." Giles picked up a cup and held it out to Madalene.

"Thank you." She accepted it gratefully.

"Don't mention it." Giles glanced at the two remaining cups. "I suppose I should take this up to Dawn." He picked up one.

"Mr. Giles, I'm sorry about last night." Madalene looked up her voice soft. "I was completely out of line and I had no right to say what I did."

For a long moment Giles just looked into the dark liquid in his cup and then he looked up at the spellcaster.

"Thank you." He said softly. "And I too behaved quite inappropriately." He offered his own apology.

"This is your home, defending anyone here is by far your right more than mine." She graciously declined though she smiled a little.

"Have you studied magic in great detail?" Giles seemed to forget his quest to take Dawn's tea to her and instead sipped it himself as he leaned not the wall.

"I think I have." Madalene knew it was an insane answer but it was the best she could give.

"I mean more that you could remember." Giles smiled softly

"Well it's odd really, it's like reading this." She motioned to the book. "I began reading it and now as I'm near the middle the words are so familiar to me, as if I have not only studied the book but know it by heart."

"So are you saying that like Tara your memory loss is not complete." Giles questioned curious.

"I guess I am. In a purely factual magical knowledge basis." Madalene nodded. "Topics like Willow and the holes come up and words are coming out of me before I even realise I know what I'm talking about." She looked down at the book. "My grandmother's letter, it mentioned how magic would guide me through this."

"I see." Giles sipped his tea again. "How long ago did you, err, experience your return?"

"Three years, I died just after my seventeen birthday and rose just after my eighteenth." She answered succulently.

"And do you mind me asking what you have done during those last three years, I mean magic specific, not personal." He smiled gently.

"I've primarily spent my time travelling to study with or around those who have power." Madalene summed up her last years. "When I was well enough after rising, on the suggestion of my grandmother's letter I spent a year in Nutavut with a small tribe of Inuit." She thought back to those first days. "After that I went anywhere that legends of my ancestry existed trying to learn more."

"I see and are you a practising witch?" Giles asked putting his cup down.

"I am." She nodded sipping at her drink slowly now that it was cooled.

"But as I assured Dawn, I don't have any desire nor need to use the dark magicks."

"I merely ask as Buffy seemed to suggest that when attacked you didn't seem to know how to defend yourself. I was thinking that this was mainly due to the surprise. Taking it that living amongst vampires is not the normal route of your life." The watcher actually smiled.

"No, I attempt to stay away from the undead and various other demons in this world." Madalene gave him the information freely. "My heritage hasn't given me powers to protect myself and even though I heal from most injuries it is not a pleasant process."

"Yes, I was going to ask about that. I noticed yesterday when I spent some time with Tara, she is very slightly feverish." He noted his observation.

"Our bodies use heat as a healing mechanism." Madalene relaxed as their conversation became more about information sharing. "Apparently from examining the legends it is a function of the original demon coming from a burning hell dimension."

"I see." Giles nodded again. "Quite logical."

"Interestingly enough there is no legend which is able to name what dimension or who the original demon was." She put the fact forward to him.

"No, I too found that." Giles agreed. "The Council tried very hard to find out all they can." He explained his comment more.

"I'm sure that with your background you've been able to find out much more than I have." Madalene conceded. "Did they find the third dynasty legend?" She queried interested.

"We found some but feel free to tell me more." Giles encouraged her.

"Well from what I can discover all of us, well who have made any historical mark have been great magic users of some sort." Madalene leaned slightly and slipped onto a stool knowing to a certain test he was farming her for information but maybe if she was open about what she did know it would put his mind more at ease. "A great sorceress named Jing Jin tried to hide her long life by keeping herself in relative solitude so that she could simply re-emerge as her own daughter when necessary." She played with her tea. "Legend says that during a great war near her palace she would stop time in order to tend to the wounded warriors on the field and then would let the battle continue."

"She was a noble woman as well as everything else then." Giles commented having not received this type of detail in the email forwarded to him.

"Great wealth and stature yes. The monks I spoke with hypothesised that her great legend mostly stemmed from her benevolence in the community." She sipped at her drink.

"And what is it about her particular story that inspires you?" The Watcher asked seeing the living reverence she seemed to have for the words.

"The lesser known part of her legend." Madalene looked up. "A concubine name Zhen Huo who Jing Jin was drawn to rescue her from an overlord. Those who still speak of them say that though they were more different then the land and the sea they brought balance." She looked into her tea. "I spoke to everyone I could and every time a display of power was mentioned Zhen Huo was also noted. It's as if one could not truly fulfil her gifts without the other."

"Is this the only time such a match is to be found in your clans history?" Giles asked his on mind now working a little faster.

"No, there are scattering of stories where there is always too. Always a pair with their own separate but equal gifts." She looked up at him. "Always one drawn to protect the other." She waited for a moment when he said nothing. "Have you found anything like that?"

"To be honest we looked more for roots of the legend and for understanding exactly what happens rather than looking for details in specific legends." Giles admitted their mistake of sorts.

"Oh, that would make sense." Madalene nodded.

"I'm afraid we're rather good and looking for facts instead of people." He smiled genuinely.

"I've been trying to piece my way backward through the ancestry as best as I can. The earliest reference seems to be a brief reference to a demon witch who could manipulate peoples memories." She tried to think of something useful for him. "But that is speculation on my part mostly from a few Grecian carvings."

"To be honest your ancestry isn't what concerns me now. The Council wanted me to take Tara back with me when I returned so they could continue their research but I can't see myself doing that in the near future. "Giles explained the situation. "What truly concerns me now is your knowledge in magic."

"They want to study her?" Madalene stiffened a bit.

"Well they..." Giles frowned. "Yes" He looked down and rubbed his temple.

"Understandable." Madalene nodded accepting the statement but not in any way accepting the realisation of it. "So what about me concerns you?"

"Not concerns me as in I worry about the safety of those around you." Giles affirmed.

"You're worried that I'm a danger?" Madalene studied him trying not to overreact.

"Possibly." Giles nodded softly. "At least while you are here in Sunnydale." He added the disclaimer.

"Why exactly?" She tried to keep her hand from shaking as she put her cup back down. 

"Because magic forces tend to draw unwanted attention." Giles soothed a little.

"So this is more a question of the things that will be interested in me rather than that I will bring death and destruction?" Madalene clarified what he meant.

"Madalene you might be a spellcaster and at first appearances a strong willed independent young woman but I do not view you as a life threatening power of darkness." Giles pulled off his glasses and looked at the spellcaster.

"I take that as a compliment." She smiled at him.

"Yes, well it was meant as one." Giles looked up glasses in hand and smiled back. "To be honest with you we're going to need all the help we can get with Willow and you magical knowledge even if it is some how subconscious within you, might just give us the advantage we need."

"Well I want to help as much as I can." The spellcaster tried to convey her willingness.

"Thank you." Giles pushed up and moved closer to the young woman, reaching out to patted the back of her hand, "And thank you for all your help and support of Tara." He added sipping his glasses back into place.

"I know I have no history with her but she is my family." Madalene reminded him softly.

"And that in turn makes you ours." Giles tapped her hand again. "Should you want us." He added moving away again to put his cup in the sink.

"Thank you." She whispered watching as he moved.

Buffy looked up to the sky above the roof of the house and noticed that what once had been shadowed was now becoming fully dark. A dark that in Sunnydale only meant one thing, danger was at its highest.

"You feeling strong enough to face inside again?" Buffy questioned Tara softly.

"We've been a while haven't we?" Tara glanced at the Slayer and it was only when the Wicca put her hand on the bare skin of her arm that she realised she was cold.

"It's alright, I bet everyone has been hovering around so that we'd have a nice quite few moments." Buffy explained gently.

"Mr. Giles put the outside light on." Tara looked over her shoulder and nodded to the soft glow emanating from the light just under the porch, she smiled as she did so.

"It must be a good sign that him and Mads didn't kill each other." Buffy noted with a slight smile of her own.

"I c-c-can't imagine Mr. Giles not getting along with anyone." Tara was honest as she glanced up to the bedroom window. "Dawn must have come down, the main lights not on anymore."

"The nightlight is on." Buffy looked up her slightly more acute eyesight seeing the soft glow. "We always leave the nightlight on for her."

"I know we had it on last night, it's very pretty." Tara turned her smile to Buffy. "We'd better go in." She added softer.

"Did you try the night time bear?" Buffy nodded and pushed herself up, offering her arms instantly to help Tara. "Funny thing is I think Dawn and I are trained now that it makes us sleepy, not sure about Willow." Tara let the Slayer help her up and started humming 'When you wish upon a star' the tune that the bear played. "Dawn swore if you'd seen it you'd have bought it for her." Buffy whispered as the blonde hummed.

"Oh I'm sure I would, I love his night cap." Tara stopped humming. "Does he have a name?" The blonde Wicca enquired as they moved to the house.

"No, you'll have to give him one." Buffy held the backdoor open for her.

"I will." Tara confirmed as they walked in.

"Eww Mads has been making that weird tea of hers again." The Slayer's sense of smell made her screw up her nose. "Do you want anything?"

"She blends it herself you know." She gently chastised over her own amused laugh.

"I know, I couldn't even name half the stuff she told me was in it." Buffy laughed pulling a can of soda out of the fridge.

"Want to share?" Tara looked at the can in the Slayer's hand.

"You want ice?" Buffy nodded.

Tara nodded and moved towards the living room where the sounds of gentle discussion emanated. As she breached the room she caught sight of Dawn curled on the couch, her head buried in a thick book, Giles was sat in an arm chair looking through a similar looking book, Xander was flicking absently through a thinner book in his place on the floor.

"Oh how I love evening research." Buffy rolled her eyes as she surveyed the group.

"Do you?" Tara asked something in her memory questioned this.

"That is a prime example of slayer sarcasm Tara." Xander looked up laughing. "Buffy would rather work a double at the Palace then research."

"Don't go insane Xander." Buffy laughed and moved over to sit next to Dawn.

"The Palace?" Tara frowned and looked between the two.

"It's the burger place I used to work at, he never wants to let me live it down." Buffy glared at him.

"Oh." Tara chuckled softly. "What we reading up on?" She asked Giles causing the Watcher to look up.

"You're ancestry." He admitted to Tara who glanced around a little surprised.

"Mads broke into her stash and gave out the helpful books." Xander grinned and held his up.

"I saved my favourite one for you Tara." Madalene came out of the dining room with another book.

"What makes it your favourite?" The blonde asked reaching for it,

"Jing Jin reminds me of you." Madalene admitted letting go of the book. "Wise and tempered."

"Jing Jin?" Tara asked with a soft frown.

"Her name meant pure gold." The spellcaster smiled. "She is one of our earliest known relatives, a very well respected and still worshiped Chinese healer."

"Really?" Tara's voice dropped to a whisper as with a slightly trembling hand she opened the book.

"When you first awoke and asked me if what had happened to you was wrong, I knew one day I'd be able to show you the stories and put your mind at ease." The spellcaster's voice was soft and she was rewarded with a beautiful smile.

"Thank you." Tara whispered the words and Madalene just smiled back.

"Okay so you guys are doing boring reading and the Slayer will go find some vampires to kill." Buffy grinned at the group.

"Oh and you need help with that don't you." Xander dropped his book and jumped up.

"Mmmm I don't know." Buffy toyed with him knowing he wanted to patrol instead of researching.

"But, but who'll be the one they run after, the one they think they can get"?

Xander sounded a little desperate.

"Get a stake and come on silly." Buffy reached down and messed up his hair.

"Great." He looked around. "Though we'll be back in time to carry on research." He added hastily.

"Bring food back." Dawn didn't look up from her book.

"Oh we will." Xander nodded nearly tripping over his own feet to get to the door.

Another half page of reading and Dawn reached the end of the chapter before her. Reaching up into the air she stretched her arms.

"Wow that was cool." She grinned. "Does anyone want a drink?"

"I have one thank you." Tara held up the can of pop the Slayer had left behind for her as she settled into a chair looking at the book she put into her lap.

"Anyone else?" The teenager looked around.

"I'm fine." Madalene shook her head.

"How are you feeling Tara?" Giles glanced at Tara as he closed his book and shook his head to Dawn's offer. The teenager moved off to get her own drink.

"I'm ok thank you." She replied but it was obvious that something lay behind her quick answer.

"You should tell him about your idea." Dawn came back in almost instantly with a soda.

"Idea?" Giles glanced between the two as Dawn spoke.

"For Willow." Tara said a little cautiously.

"What?" Madalene closed her book prompting her softly to say more.

"Well…" Tara glanced around at her small audience. "I want to help her."

The statement elicited a smile from the Watcher.

"Of course you do and you are." Giles softened his tone.

"No I mean really help her, Dawn made me think." Tara shook her head as she went on. "Willow and I are connected, we must be." The Wicca explained "Can't we use that to help her?" She looked at the Watcher.

"You're knowledge of her when she's in distress would point to that." Madalene nodded that a connection must exist.

"Mr. Giles?" Tara's blue eyes pleaded with the Englishman.

"I am unable to explain it but yes, you do." He nodded as Madalene had.

"Then I must be able to help her." Tara's voice grew firmer.

"You mean use the connection?" The spellcaster questioned looking thoughtfully at the blonde.

"Yes." Tara nodded. "I don't know how exactly." The frustration was clear in the young Wicca.

"Well that is an interesting proposition." Giles pulled off his glasses.

"We could do research on possible methods." Madalene offered searching through her brain hoping something would pop up.

"There has to be something, someway." Tara's brow furrowed.

"We need a way for Tara to get inside Willow's head." Dawn offered. "Then she can kick all the bad thoughts out of there."

"There is perhaps one thing." Giles tapped the arm of his glasses against his leg.

"What?" Dawn looked up eagerly.

"Willow did a spell once that allowed her to pass into Buffy's mind. Perhaps a version of that would allow you to gain more access to what is bothering her." The Watcher began to explain.

"How do I do it?" Tara sat up immediately closing the book on her lap.

"What state was Buffy in at the time?" Madalene questioned suspiciously.

"Buffy had fallen into a catatonic stupor as Glory had kidnapped Dawn." Giles admitted reluctantly with the teenager in the room. Dawn's head dropped as Giles spoke looking pained and ashamed.

"Come here Dawnie." Tara whispered under the main conversation, patting the space nest to her. The teenager moved quickly into the offered comfort and support.

"The problem with that is Willow isn't trapped in a catatonia." Madalene watched distracted as Dawn moved over to sit with Tara, she reached up to her temple. "Willow is in a fragmented state, we'd have to find a modified spell in order to allow Tara to have control if she wanted to be capable of fixing anything."

"I agree." Giles watched the spellcaster seeing how obviously she was trying to draw something out of her own mind. "The question is how do we modify."

"Quickly." Tara replied succinctly. "Whatever the answer is we need it quickly."

"Xander, Xander have you been listening to anything I have said?"

The young carpenter blinked and looked at his friend the Slayer obviously not having heard anything she had said more or less since they entered the graveyard.

"What are you thinking about?" Buffy looked at him confused. "You keep muttering."

"What?" Xander frowned again.

"Sorry, I'm just wigged cause there's no vamps anywhere." Buffy looked around. "It's like slayer drought."

"Well maybe you're like super slayer and there are just no vampires left." Xander shrugged trying to pay attention.

"I think it's the Brothers of Pain fault." Buffy growled angry that the one named Michael had got away for her so easily.

"Brothers of Pain?" Xander looked at his friend. "Have you been watching cartoons in the afternoons again?" 

"No." Buffy rolled her eyes. "I ran into some vamps last night who were all looking like the Goodfellas, they said that was their name."

"Okay just when you think Sunnydale can't get any stranger." Xander shook his head.

"Never say that." Buffy glared at him. "When you say that bad things happen."

"Bad things like them." Xander pointed behind Buffy to where a group of vampires approached.

"See you had to say it didn't you." Buffy sighed as she appraised the half dozen demons.

"Sorry." Xander shrugged and gave a wide grin.

"So we meet again." Michael reached up to check his hair as he stopped his group a few feet away.

"We do." Buffy shifted her stance slightly. "Are you going to run away screaming like a girl again this time?" She posed the question with her head tipped lightly to the side.

"Buffy!" Xander's eyes went wide, sure he was used to the Slayer's quips but this didn't seem like the wisest time.

"You're funny." Michael straightened his tie. "But last night was your freebie so tonight you have to pay."

"I see you brought some friends." Buffy glanced at the small group.

"They're not very happy about Billy." He informed her as the vampires began to spread out to flank her.

"Well you know I would suggest the one they have to blame for that would be you." Buffy shrugged slightly.

"Get her." Michael waved and his cohorts descended.

Two came in from Buffy's right and another two at Xander from her left.

Buffy wasn't phased by Xander's familiar shriek as she flicked up the mini crossbow she had with her and took one of the vamps closing down on him down.

As he turned to ash she trusted Xander to at least carry his weight with one while she took care of the others. She dodged under a high swing, dropping down to kick out a hard leg sweep that brought the two of them down. The two well-dressed vampires soon landed in the dirt much to their disgust.

Beside her Xander was grappling and in a flash she did a front roll coming to slam her stake home into one vamp's hearts.

"Boys stop embarrassing me." Michael hissed at his vampires as they easily fell to the Slayer's skills.

"Oh they will especially when you get some of them on that nice suit." Buffy gave him a charming smile.

"Kill her." He snarled to the other vamps that had seemed stunned by her for a minute. The one close to her scrambled up and lunged at her, his fangs bared. Buffy tucked and rolled away from him bobbing up onto her feet just in time for another vamp to strike her with a high kick. She staggered back a bit stunned but unhurt as Xander launched onto her attacker's back.

Regaining her bearings she turned to block another kick before she exchanged a volley of blows. None of the moves were something Buffy couldn't counter and she soon backed him up against a tall headstone driving Mr. Pointy home. Turning she bided her time until Xander was able to push the last one off himself and as the vampire flailed backwards she staked him as well.

"Well, you might look good but you don't seem to have improved your techniques." Buffy dusted down her hands and looked at Michael.

"Mmmmm well..." He looked at the Slayer and Xander before turning again and running.

"Hey he's getting away." Xander's eyes went wide.

"God this is getting repetitive." Buffy sighed before taking chase. Xander moved as quickly as he could to follow.

Buffy pulled up in front of large stone door of the crypt that Michael disappeared into just as it closed.

"Well at least this time you brought me home this time." Buffy glanced over her shoulder to see if she could see Xander.

"Right here." Xander pulled up huffing and puffing. "Crypt?" He pointed questioning if that was where Michael had gone.

"Prepare your nose for the stench." She smiled and slid Mr. Pointy back into the pocket of her jacket so that she could deal with the door.

"Prepared." He saluted her and pulled out his stake.

"And remember don't look for last nights lunch, it makes you go kinda queasy." Buffy reached forward and pushed the stone inwards.

"Eyes on the prize." Xander moved into the crypt behind her.

The crypt was large, running back in a rectangle. Lit torches near the back burned low to illuminate the accumulation of dust and dirt over two stone sarcophagi.

"There he goes." Xander pointed to a stone lid as it slid a bit back into place.

"Then that's where we go." Buffy darted off after him.

Xander moved with her and grabbed a torch as she moved the lid back. They both peered over the edge to see a deep whole down into the ground, accessed by a set of steep iron steps.

"Steel steps, better than stone." Buffy noted as she flipped over onto the top one.

"Much." Xander eased up and over to follow her down. "Who ordered the underground Taj Mahal?" He asked a little slack jawed as he looked around.

What should have been dirt floors were covered in thick obviously expensive oriental carpets, and the walls were draped in tapestries. On out shoots of caskets or stone framed pieces of obviously expensive art had been hanged, as well as marble statues that sat on tall pedestals. Behind them a grand piano sat with a lit candelabra, while further down a tunnel lined with velvet couches more light could be seen.

"Ok did we just walk into a film set?" Buffy looked around slightly bemused.

"I think so. If someone comes out with a deep voice saying Buffy Anne Summers this is your life, I had nothing to do with it." Xander walked over to a long mahogany desk and snapped open a briefcase sitting on it. The case was filled with neatly stacked bills. "Oh my God we're rich!" He grinned and squealed for the Slayer to look.

"Ok so this just got super weird." Buffy moved over to where Xander was and glanced at the case noting it was snakeskin.

"I see you've found my little offering." A deep voice called from the shadows and a flash of a matchstick pre-empted a cigarette being lit. Buffy's head flickered around.

"Offering?" She peered into the darkness.

"A little down payment so to speak." The voice clarified. "For your co-operation."

With a few short steps a squat podgy man in an expensive suit came out of the shadows. He wore dark red tinted glasses but the luminous glow of his skin gave away his undead state immediately.

"I'm sure you could use a few things around the house, maybe a new car." The vampire explained as Buffy glanced back at the case of cash and took out a bound wad of money. "Miss. Slayer, we are both well aware that here at the Hellmouth you are the law." He stepped closer and took a long drag on his cigarette. "And well there is a way to deal with the law that makes both of our existences easier."

"Are you offering me money to leave you alone?" Buffy looked at the money again and then up at the unnamed figure.

"I am offering you money to let my little business here continue, you turn a blind eye so to speak." He nodded. "And I continue to make a profit off the horrible existence that exists in Sunnydale."

"How much?" Buffy asked putting the wad down in the case.

"BUFFY!" Xander hissed from beside her.

"I believe the lady and I are talking." He glared at Xander and snapped his fingers as from the darkness Michael emerged with a tray, an expensive bottle of champagne sat on it waiting to be opened.

"How much." Buffy asked again putting up a hand to silence Xander as the older vamp picked up the bottle.

"Twenty five to start." The large vampire pulled the foil back. "A ten percent cut of our weekly business as well as our guarantee to stay out of any directly necessary affairs you have keeping the Hellmouth closed."

"T-t-twenty five hundred?" She whispered with a slight cough.

"Thousand." He corrected letting the cork pop out of the bottle.

"Holy Moly." Xander hissed as the cork popped.

"I have many legitimate businesses Miss. Slayer. I am merely asking for your assistant in my continued successfulness now that I am faced with this unfortunate condition." He morphed slowly to his vampiric self.

"Ah, isn't there always small print in this kind of deal?" Buffy sighed letting her fingers run over the cash in the case.

"Small print." He laughed lightly. "Mmmm I would appreciate if you don't kill anymore of my boys."

"I meant more small print, you're a vampire so what you're actually asking me to do is turn a blind eye while you murder the residents of my home town." Buffy gave a thoroughly fed up sigh.

"Well the boys do have to feed but you'll be getting a cut of every other vampire who bares a fang in this town." He eyed her seeing the change. "Okay I'm feeling generous and I realize this puts you in a tight spot. Twenty five now, twenty five in a week and your ten percent on top of that."

"You really are real aren't you? I am really stood in a crypt decked out like what I can only imagine Buckingham Palace is like, you're offering me fifty thousand dollars to let you bring organisation and discipline to the vampiric hordes of Sunnydale aren't you?" Buffy rubbed her forehead.

"Exactly." He nodded and poured out the champagne, placing the bottle back before he took a fine crystal flute and held it out to her. "Do we have a deal?"

"You know…" She sighed looking up at him. "I wish I believed that I could just say yes and it work out or I could say no and you'll just let me walk out of here."

"I'm afraid darling that a no would lead to problems, I'm not going to lie to you." He smiled politely.

"Okay now you see before the darling line we were doing fine but then you crossed from big vamp ring leader, to sleazy creepy needs to die guy." Buffy changed her stance instantly doing a high kick that knocked the champagne flute clear out of his hand.

"You prefer Miss. Slayer." He stepped back away from her.

"I prefer pft wishhhh." Buffy made two odd noises.

"What's that?" Michael asked a bit confused.

"That was my stake and you turning to dust." She informed him with a confident smile.

"Boys." The large vamp moved backwards and from the dark behind him a group of his minions appeared. Buffy eyed them up before she got a plan of attack ready.

"Let's do it." Buffy shuffled forward and with a quick snap kick knocked one vamp back into two of his friends taking them all off their feet.

Landing down she twirled her body downwards in a pivot and caught another with the heel of her boot as she turned. Xander, remembering the usefulness of the torch in his hand baited with another two that he'd managed to pin behind the piano.

"So who was that big guy?" She dashed across to cut off Michael's retreat and punched him back to land sprawled across one of the couches.

Reaching up she pulled down a large heavy tapestry over one of the sprawled figures and she stuck her foot down into the lump she assumed was his head.

"Burn chicken boys burn." Xander watched one flaming vampire try to crawl up the stairs as he was consumed. He turned on the second one and began backing him up into the corner.

"That is Uncle. You should have taken his offer." Michael got up his fangs bared and struck a martial arts pose.

"Oh now you want to fight." Buffy rolled her eyes and motioned for him to bring it on.

Michael stepped forward tentatively and attempted to hit her only to find that the Slayer had already sidestepped around him.

"You know I liked you better when you ran like a girl." Buffy arched her arm up and brought her elbow down across his back causing him to go face down into the ground. Turning in a low sweep she brought her hand up to catch another vamp in the heart with her stake.

"Xander you okay?" She called back to her friend as she heard another vamp going up in flames.

"Doing good you got..." He tried to warn her but in an instant Buffy was turned again and she threw her stake into the body of a sword-carrying vampire. "Okay you saw him."

"It's my job." She grinned as she twirled over to pick up the sword and in a sure swing took off Michael's head. "You ready to go after Mr. Big?" Buffy held the sword up.

"Where did he go?" Xander asked looked around still waving his torch.

"I think down there." She pointed to a break in the wall that was now visible with the tapestry she pulled down.

"Are there like going to be lots of minions down there?" Xander sounded a little unsure.

"How do I know?" Buffy looked at him. "I need you to carry the torch while I do the sword."

"Ok." He shuffled closer.

"I bet there's not more than what two… three." Buffy tried to be reassuring as they began down the small tunnel. "I mean it can't be this... big... down..." She stopped as they emerged into a fully lit room.

"Again with the Holy Moly." Xander whispered.

"Again I must be in a palace." Buffy observed the art and decadence. "I think we know for sure now whose been robbing all the stores in town."

"Well with all the leather and the things." Xander walked into the room fully glancing down at the expensive rugs beneath their feet. "Its like the Batcave at Wayne Manor but not cause it's the other way around." He rambled.

"And the gold." Buffy looked at the desk in the corner laden with jewellery. Her moment of appreciation was short lived when she heard Xander's torch hit the ground behind her.

"You know this would have been much easier if you just accepted my offer." Mr. Big forcibly dug his hand into Xander's hair and bared the young man's neck as Buffy turned around.

"You knew I wasn't gong to." Buffy stood her ground and shook her head.

"I had high hopes for you darling, we could have been the greatest duo in history." He licked his lips. "Now I'll just have to settle for eating your boyfriend."

Buffy barked out a short laugh that she realised was actually rather inappropriate.

"Buffy." Xander whimpered when he heard her laugh.

"Sorry." She apologised quickly.

"I bet you won't laugh when he dies." Mr. Big moved down ready to make the bite.

"That would have been a great plan accept my boyfriend is behind you." Buffy looked to the doorway with a confident smirk.

"What?" The vamp turned and in that instant Buffy reached forward pulling Xander out of his grasp.

"God I can't believe you fell for that one." She laughed as she spin kicked him into the wall and as his body fell forward her stake turned him to dust.

Tara tried hard to hide the yawn that escaped from her mouth as she looked with Dawn at their book.

"You should go up with Willow." Dawn instructed softly. "You need sleep too."

"Research." Tara ran her hand up through her hair, willing herself to feel less exhausted.

"We'll keep going." Dawn assured her.

"She does need checking on." Giles put in glancing at the Wicca.

"Ok." Tara smiled gratefully at him, they both knew with direct prompting about her lover's safety the Wicca could not decline. "Goodnight Mr. Giles, Madalene." She nodded to them. "Sweet dreams Dawnie." She smiled broadly at the teenager.

"Good night." Madalene smiled and waved.

Extracting herself carefully from next to Dawn Tara crossed to the stairs and padded up them quietly.

Not wanting to disturb Willow if she were asleep, she passed the bedroom door silently going straight to the bathroom to slip on her nightshirt and brush her teeth. Tara returned to the bedroom only moments later, pausing in the doorway to glance at the bed.

The light from the night-light cast a warm glow in the room and caused small sparkles to reflect back from Willow's green eyes as they watched her in the doorway.

"Room for a little one?" Tara whispered.

"Always." Willow whispered back opening her hand up and lazily holding it out for Tara.

Tara moved over to place her hand in Willow's and slipped onto the bed. She lifted Willow's hand and kissed it and rested the back of it against her cheek.

"How are you feeing?" She asked softly.

"Tired and queasy." Willow's voice stayed low as Tara moved her hand to a warm spot. "But better now that you're here."

"Sorry I should have come up earlier but I thought you would be asleep." Tara apologised as she managed to wiggle herself under the sheets.

"It's okay." Willow shook her head lightly against the pillow.

"Do you need more water, is there anything I can get to help with the queasy?" She questioned concerned.

"It's okay, it's just the pills." Willow turned her hand and traced her fingers over Tara's cheek and chin.

"Are you sure?" Tara checked leaning slightly to Willow's touches.

"I love you." The redhead whispered tracing out the edged of Tara's full lips and the bridge of her nose.

"I love you too." Tara smiled as she stroked Willow's arm through her nightshirt.

"I'm sorry." Willow's eyes closed softly as she succumbed to the feel of Tara's fingers on her skin.

"Sorry? Why are you sorry?" Tara soothed frowning though the redhead couldn't see.

"For scaring you... for... I get so lost." She tried to explain.

"I'll find you Willow, I'll always find you." Tara whispered the words making her heart swell.

"I know you will." Willow snuggled closer to the blonde.

"Are you tired?" Tara asked softly as she drew Willow into a close protective hold.

"I've slept a lot lately." Willow admitted holding tight.

"Then how about I tell you a story? Do you like stories?" Tara offered.

"I love your stories." Willow nodded against Tara's body.

"What do you want a story about?" The blonde rubbed her hand over her lover's back.

"Something happy." She prompted.

"Well I recently learned a story about two beautiful sisters from ancient China." Tara smiled and hugged Willow sideways. "And one of the sisters had the most wonderful and gentle lover." She snuggled into a more comfortable position as she continued the tale.

It had taken some time but they'd managed to find all the offshoot tunnels with the lower crypt, all of which were as elaborately decorated as the first two areas. Xander walked back through the tunnel to see the Slayer sitting on a white leather couch with the snakeskin case full of money stretched open next to her.

"I never knew that Sunnydale had stores that even carried this kinda stuff." He modelled a diamond tiara he'd found in a desk for her.

"They don't carry it anymore." Buffy quipped dryly. "These guys do." She flicked a wad of notes over and over.

"So how is the money?" Xander pulled the jewellery off and placed it on a table.

"Pretty." She repeated the fanning motion.

"Is there really as much as he said?" Xander looked down at the neat stacks.

"I gave up counting after the number became to big to process." Buffy admitted.

"Whatcha going to do with it?" Xander plunked down next to the briefcase the soft leather cupping his body.

"Hand it all over to the police of course." Buffy said quickly glancing around.

"You know I'm all for the good guy thing." He looked up with her. "And I mean all this should go back the stores or the owners but..." He reached over picking up a stack of bills. "Who knows who this belongs too."

"Don't they have ways of finding out?" Buffy frowned at him.

"With money? Do you keep the serial numbers of yours?" Xander questioned with a comical seriousness as he put the wad back down.

"Well no, what money?" She joked lamely.

"Buffy, I know I should be all with the morals and the do the right thing but..." Xander looked at her. "You've saved this town so many times I think a little payback isn't too unreasonable."

"I can't take the money." Buffy instantly dropped the stack she held and stood up stepping away as if it had stung her.

"Okay leaving the money." Xander nodded with a frown. "Shouldn't have suggested it."

"No." Buffy turned and looked at him with a softer look. "I'm sorry. It's just you know, it's hard." She looked back at the money. "I mean its just sat there all moneyish and I'm stood here all poor slayerish." She sighed loudly.

"Buffy it's not like we stole it or even helped him steal it. You staked him right away." Xander stuck up for the pull they both had to just leave with the case and take the contents for there own.

"But where has it come form?" Buffy felt her resolve buckling a little but her morals refused to break.

"Well he said he had legitimate business before he was turned and I bet a lot of it came from the vamps they roughed up." Xander speculated. "I'm sure no one will ever be able to know for sure."

"Think of the college fund I could set up for Dawnie." Buffy looked off distantly.

"And get ahead on the house payments." Xander chimed in.

"And maybe a vacation." Buffy sighed again. "No, it's wrong isn't it?" Suddenly she flipped again, staring at the carpenter hard.

"Buffy, what is wronger?" He stood up trying to be firm and then winced at his bad choice of words. "I mean so we tip the cops and they come clean this place out, where do you think the money's going to end up? If everything in the world was right and good sure it would go to an orphanage instead of towards the donut budget or confiscated by the government to fund some secret organization like the Initiative but we both know it'll probably end up in none of the good places and all of the bad."

"Maybe that's it, maybe I should drop it off anonymously at an orphanage or that street kid centre." Buffy frowned wanting so much to do the right thing.

"Buffy how much do we owe the hospital for Willow's meds and stuff?" Xander scuffed his shoe into the carpet.

"I was thinking of contacting her parents again about that." Buffy looked down her eyes catching once more on the case as twenty five thousand easier answers looked up at her.

"Now don't be mad." He held up a hand. "But I went by to see them."

"What!" Buffy swung around to look at him. "Xander I thought we'd agreed..."

"You agreed." He shook his head. "I saw the creditor bills Buffy, you think I was going to sit by and just keep joking while they threatened you with court?"

"What did you say to them?" She looked at him with angry hazel eyes.

"I told them the truth, well as close as I could." Xander moved back and sat on the edge of the couch cushion. "Buffy they're not bad people, they just don't understand and I mean how can they?"

"You're not talking quick enough or giving me enough details." Buffy warned him.

"I told them she was getting better but she still needed a lot of attention and medication." Xander looked back at her without flinching. "I explained to them that though they didn't agree the best place for her was with us, because we could look after her."

"And what did they say?" Buffy's hard stare didn't soften.

"They'll only take over the costs if you sign over guardianship of her to them." Xander's voice was low. "They want to take her to that special clinic in New York."

"NO!" Buffy slammed the case shut. "They want to commit her and that will kill her."

"That's what I told them." He jumped as the noise echoed through the room.

"You shouldn't have gone." Buffy stalked away from where he sat.

"Buffy, you are not the only one who is busting their ass to take care of Willow." He could barely believe his own tone as he snapped at the slayer. "We are doing this together."

"Did I say that I am?" Buffy whirled round and snarled at him.

"Then don't tell me I shouldn't have went. I went, I tried and now we know where we stand." He looked up at her. "And we stand together to face this."

"This doesn't help us with that." Buffy pointed to the case again.

"It doesn't." He looked at it.

Suddenly the Slayer moved back to slip her hand into the metal handle. She picked it up easily and stalked over to stairs.

"Is that a we're taking it?" Xander hung for a moment not following her.

"No, it's a we're taking it to Giles." The Slayer resolved herself. "He'll know what to do."

"So Madalene…" Giles looked at the spellcaster, the only other researcher up in the Summers' house now that Dawn had slipped off to get a few much deserved hours of sleep. "You have been very quiet since Tara's suggestion." He made the gentle observation.

"I've been trying to think." She looked up at him from the book.

"Whilst trying to put aside your initial 'this is a bad idea' reaction?" He raised an eyebrow slightly as he looked at the spellcaster over his book.

"My initial reaction was more of concern that if we don't choose a spell carefully we could do more damage than good." She corrected gently and caused a sad smile to form on the Watcher's face.

"I am pretty sure the damage has already been done." He said guiltily.

"I'm also worried that Tara isn't strong enough to undertake such a complicated spell." Madalene tried to switch their focus slightly, the level of damage that had been done to Willow wasn't a topic that needed to be discussed in detail now.

"My concern exactly." The Watcher laid down his book and leaned back into his chair more.

"Which leads to another obvious dilemma." Madalene shifted her legs up under her body. "Will everyone trust me enough to assist her?"

"Understandably enough that may be our most difficult hurdle." Giles began honestly assessing the challenge ahead of them. "Tara is rather like the human equivalent of the Crown Jewels. I think even I would have a hard time convincing people I should assist her."

"That leaves us at a slight disadvantage." Madalene smiled softly. "As without attempting to sound egotistical I don't think that anyone else is qualified to undertake the necessary journey."

"We need to find a spell before we need to directly worry about specifics." Giles tried to focus and bury down the initial pang of jealousy that rose inside him. He knew honestly that with their connected heritage and the similar abilities they had displayed so far Madalene would be the most solid choice, but that didn't stop his emotional side wishing it was him.

"I was considering maybe we're looking at things the wrong way. Perhaps we need to combine two or more spells, create a specific hybrid." Madalene put forward the idea she had swimming around in her head.

"Creating hybrid spells can be problematic." The spellcaster's suggestion obviously had caught the Watcher's attention.

"They require a strong anchor and preferably a tandem spell." Madalene agreed with his disagreement.

"Yes." For a moment Giles seemed to falter as he cast his eyes down.

"You have reservations?" Madalene tried to get him to explain.

"I do." Giles admitted looking back up slowly. "I am reluctant to expose Willow to that much magic." He pointed out.

"Without being able to properly map out her deficiencies we do need to error on the side of caution." Madalene easily agreed with him, she had no role to butt heads with him on any issue on which she could both see and agree with his concern.

"Tomorrow we can pick up more books from the Magic Box. I feel sure we will find something." He tried to be optimistic.

"Sounds like..." Madalene was a bit embarrassed as she yawned. "Sorry. Sounds like the best course of action."

"And the best course of action for you I feel would be to retire for the evening. I shouldn't imagine Buffy will be much longer, I will wait up for her." Giles encouraged the Spellcaster to get some sleep.

"I want to be fresh for tomorrows research." Madalene agreed as she placed her book on the side table and headed towards the stairs. "Goodnight." She called politely to him as she headed up to bed.

Buffy led Xander into the house her hand still firmly locked around the handle of the snakeskin briefcase.

"I'm gonna slink straight down to my basement." Xander whispered pointing off towards the kitchen. She went straight into the living room and dropped it onto the coffee table not bothering to acknowledge him. Looking slightly embarrassed and even more uncomfortable Xander passed straight through the room.

"Just so you know I killed Mr. Big vampire mob boss and about a dozen vamp minions but I have a problem." Buffy looked at the Watcher her voice tight.

"A problem?" Giles pulled off his glasses looking at the Slayer and then at the case.

Reaching down she snapped open the locks on the case and twirled it towards him before she opened the lid to expose the neat stacks of money.

"I was offered this as a bribe before I killed him." She summed up the events of the evening.

"Good Lord." Giles stared startled at the most unexpected sight on the coffee table.

"This is just the cash, there was art, jewellery and leather accessories." Buffy explained as best as she could.

"All of which have legitimate homes Buffy." Giles regained his composure.

"That's what Xander said but how do we find this a home?" She pointed again to the money as Giles pushed himself forward on his seat staring hard at the money. "Twenty five thousand." She gave him the suspected figure. "Or at least that's what Mr. Big told me."

Giles looked at it long and hard and then looked up at Buffy as he slipped his glasses back onto his face and pushed them back on his nose.

"I would say it has already found one." He summed up looking back at the Slayer.

"But how can I keep it?" Buffy looked at him more than surprised, she'd expected Giles to be her moral voice of reason.

"You open up a savings account, invest a little, perhaps a college fund for Dawn, pay off some of the hospital bills, keep some of it under your mattress." Giles reeled off the list of possibilities.

"But? But it's not mine." Buffy's jaw dropped open as it gave her the same list of options that had been rolling around in her own mind.

"No Buffy, it belonged to hordes of vampiric undead demons and whoever else this brethren of blood drinkers tortured it out of. I for one can feel no remorse that they no longer have it." Giles stood up.

"Oh." Buffy looked down and with a slightly shaky hand picked up one of the money bundles.

"Buffy." Giles crossed over and placed a hand on Buffy's arm. "You can take it to the police station tomorrow, you can drop it off at some worthy charity, you can use it to make the lives of people you love a little better or you can do a little of all of those things." He smiled, though he looked tired. "And most of all you can see it as the worlds long over due way of saying thank you."

"I want to make them happy." She looked up at him and glanced to the stairs.

"Keeping it doesn't make you a bad person Buffy." Giles pointed out softly.

"We owe lots to the hospital for Willow." She admitted thinking of all the things she could do with the money. "And Dawn's only three years from college."

"Would it make it easier if I took it?" Giles offered his voice still soft.

"Do you need it? Oh God Giles I didn't even think." Buffy frowned as she shamed herself. "I mean you can't just pick up and move back without any money and we know the Council doesn't pay that well."

"I meant more I take and set all these things up for you." He corrected her in a gentle fatherly way.

"No, if I keep it I can do what needs to be done with it." Buffy put her shoulders back as she resolved herself. "Though I'm going to give some of it to charity, not all of it is being blown on clothes and shoes." She smiled softly.

"Or fast food." He added with a chuckle.

Tara reached out and lightly took hold of Madalene's hands as she glanced up at the Spellcaster who was sat opposite to her.

"Ready?" Madalene asked her voice a whisper.

Tara briefly looked around the room taking in the carefully marked out pentagram in which both she and Madalene sat. Its edges marked out clearly in blue and red sand, while candles burned in each point and incense smoke drifted lazily towards the ceiling.

Tara's blue eyes then settled in the corner of the room on Willow. The redhead was sleeping peacefully on a white-sheeted mattress, her breathing even and regular.

"I'm ready." She drew her eyes back to Madalene.

The Spellcaster nodded and squeezed Tara's hands lightly as she began her chanting. A moment later Tara added her voice to Madalene's and from the carefully marked spell area a thick grey mist rose. It merged with the smoke from the candles, circling the casting pair before it solidified into a misty arm that snaked out of the circle towards the bed.

As it reached the mattress the mist bled out of solid form to encircle the bed completely as their chanting and the spell continued. On the bed the redhead's body began to rise off the mattress the light mist swirling round and under her, supporting her up without disturbing her sleep.

Tara quickly glanced over to the bed and then back at Madalene as the words of their careful chant came to an end.

"How long does it take till I'm in?" Tara asked of the Spellcaster but an answer was cut short as the floating of figure of the redhead stopped breathing for a moment, the absence noticeable in the quite room. The silence seemed to find a hold for a moment before with a slow deep gasp she seemed to wake again.

"They say the first taste gives you a high you never quite get back." Willow whispered her eyes blinking open to reveal dark black pupils and within the smoke her hair seemed to slowly darken to midnight black. "But I swear that this is just as delicious." She arched up against the cushion of air under her and licked her lips slowly as if gaining great pleasure from the smoke.

In a quick sure movement Willow's body pitched upright and stepping down off the elevation it was as she stepped through a doorway. Her simple white cotton shirt and pale green skirt melted off her body and were instantly replaced by black thigh high boots and a short black dress, a ribbon of pure black silk lacing the bodice of the tight material around her stomach and breasts.

"Thank you for waking me up darling." Willow walked over through the spell circle kicking over a candle without any regard for the power contained there. "I'll be with you in just a second, one thing to take care of first." With a flick of her body she turned and from her hand a fireball shot out heading straight for Madalene.

Having had no time to react, the flames engulfed the Spellcaster's body and though she tried to scream the sound was absorbed as the flames swelled back towards Willow's still open hand and with the flames Madalene was consumed into the dark witch.

Tara's blue eyes grew wide with horror and fear as all that had once been Madalene just disappeared.

"Yummy." Willow sighed happily and licked her lips as she travelled the outside of the spell circle kicking over candles. "You always brought me the best presents." She stopped directly opposite of Tara.

"I want to h-h-h-help you baby." Tara forced herself to speak.

"Oh you have." Willow's red lips curled into a broad smile. "And now I'm going to help you, time to dance on the dark side with me darling." She threw her arm out again sending another fireball at Tara.

Tara watched in despair as the flaming sphere filled her vision twisting and turning in an almost beautiful and mesmerising way.

"It won't hurt, well it might sting at first." Willow's voice whispered through the flames as it got closer. "But then I'll make it all better."

Though Tara knew there was no way she could prepare or brace for the impact but she couldn't stop the natural reaction as all the muscles in her body tensed as she pushed herself backwards

"No, Willow! NO!"

Tara's blue eyes snapped open. She was sweating and panting, her heart hammered in her ears. In a panic she looked around the still room, the dim light from the plug in night-light filling the area with a comforting soft blue glow.

Nothing was out of place, disturbed or anyway other than it should be. Beside her Willow slept peacefully, the pills for now keeping her nightmares at bay.

Forcing her breath to slow and even out, the Wicca let her gaze settle on her beloved. Leaning over she placed a gentle kiss on Willow's cheek and then eased out of the bed, needing to stretch out her tense muscles. The images from her nightmare burned into her mind and memory.

Walking carefully around the bed she sipped some water from the glass on Willow's bedside table as she watched her lover sleep.

"Magic's not the way." She said sadly dropping her head.

Fade To Black

End of Episode

Grrr Arg


End file.
